Billionaire Matchmaker Gina Hendrix: What High Achieving Men and Women Are Getting Wrong About Love (and How to Fix It)
When it comes to finding love, even the most successful and high-achieving individuals often feel lost. Despite excelling in their careers and personal goals, many struggle to build meaningful relationships that last. This paradox is one of the core topics discussed with Gina Hendrix, a renowned matchmaker known for helping billionaires and high-profile individuals find love.
Here are the key takeaways from our conversation with Gina on what’s holding successful men and women back from finding love in 2025—and what they can do to turn things around.
Watch and Listen To Our Conversation
1. The Complexities of Modern Dating
Why is finding love harder than ever?
Gina explains that while technology has created countless ways to connect, it has also complicated the dating landscape. Apps offer endless options, which can lead to a "grass-is-greener" mentality. At the same time, social norms and the fear of rejection discourage people from approaching potential partners in person.
Key Insight: The abundance of options makes it easy to focus on superficial qualities rather than meaningful connections.
Solution: Approach dating with intentionality. Whether using apps or meeting people in real life, focus on shared values and long-term compatibility over fleeting attractions.
2. The Mindset Problem: Why Success Isn’t Enough
Gina shared that high achievers often fall into two traps:
Overconfidence: They assume their success in other areas of life will translate to relationships.
Fear of Vulnerability: They avoid opening up, afraid that their status will overshadow genuine connections.
Key Insight: Being accomplished doesn’t make you immune to relationship challenges. Mindset and emotional intelligence play a critical role.
Solution: Work on self-awareness and be willing to accept feedback, even when it’s tough. As Gina advises her clients, understanding your blind spots can help you grow into the partner you want to be.
3. Why Personal Style and First Impressions Matter
Many people underestimate the importance of appearance when attracting a partner. Gina emphasizes that style should reflect not just your personality but also the type of person you want to attract.
Key Insight: Your style and presentation send a message. Are you calling in the right kind of person with the image you’re projecting?
Solution: Think of your wardrobe as a marketing campaign for your dating life. Invest in tailored, polished outfits that align with your goals and values.
4. Men: Don’t Be Overly Picky
For many of Gina’s male clients, the biggest hurdle is unrealistic expectations. Focusing on minor flaws or superficial traits often leads them to overlook amazing women who could be the right match.
Key Insight: The perfect partner doesn’t exist. Chasing perfection can lead to endless dissatisfaction.
Solution: Shift your focus to inner qualities, such as shared goals, values, and emotional compatibility.
5. Women: Stop Trying to Change Him
Women often enter relationships hoping their partner will change, whether it’s becoming more ambitious or more emotionally available. Gina highlights that this mindset is one of the most common reasons relationships fail.
Key Insight: You can’t turn someone into a different person. Take them as they are, or move on.
Solution: Be clear about your non-negotiables from the start. If a man’s goals and values don’t align with yours, don’t waste time hoping he’ll evolve.
6. The Secret Weapon: Manners and Effort
One of the simplest yet most overlooked aspects of dating is basic manners. From opening doors to making thoughtful gestures, small acts of consideration can make a big impression.
Key Insight: Kindness and effort never go out of style.
Solution: Be intentional in how you treat your date. Show them that you value their time and presence, and they’ll be more likely to reciprocate.
7. Don’t Underestimate Singles Events
While singles events often get a bad reputation, Gina argues that they are a goldmine for great women looking for meaningful connections. Yet, many men avoid these gatherings, leaving them underrepresented.
Key Insight: Great women attend singles events hoping to meet like-minded men, but most men never show up.
Solution: Step outside your comfort zone and attend events with an open mind. You might be surprised at who you meet.
8. Final Takeaway: Build the Life You Want to Share
At the core of Gina’s advice is this: focus on building a life you’re proud of, and the right partner will be drawn to you. Whether it’s cultivating your passions, refining your style, or improving your communication skills, everything you do to better yourself will enhance your ability to connect with others.
Actionable Steps to Revamp Your Love Life Today
Reflect on your availability and emotional readiness for a relationship.
Upgrade your online dating profile with professional photos and thoughtful captions.
Attend singles events to expand your network and practice connecting in person.
Be open to feedback and willing to adjust your approach.
Work on presenting your authentic self in both style and demeanor.
The Bottom Line: Love in 2025 doesn’t have to feel impossible. By addressing mindset, style, and approach, you can transform your dating experience and create lasting connections.
Stay connected with Gina Hendrix:
Website: https://ginahendrix.com/
Transcript (May Not Be Exact)
Julian Hayes II
(0:03) All right, Gina, thank you so much for joining me. (0:06) I was researching you and I was like, man, this is this is a very interesting thing. (0:10) You lived a very interesting life, a bunch of different jobs.
(0:14) But I see some commonalities in there. (0:16) And I'm curious if as we get to have this discussion, if those are going to unpack, but I have to start with some of the descriptions that they said about you. (0:24) I want somebody to talk about me like this.
(0:26) So a billionaire, a billionaire bachelor's best friend, a matchmaker with superpowers, the secret weapon to the world's most eligible men, the secret love alchemist to the stars. (0:35) I think that's my favorite.
Gina Hendrix
(0:37) Well, I'm curious about that. (0:39) OK, great. (0:40) I love it.
Julian Hayes II
(0:41) So how does one build a skill set to even excel as a matchmaker or is it or is this just a natural skill set that was that came to you?
Gina Hendrix
(0:51) I mean, I so for me, I like I like to start because you mentioned like I've had different jobs. (0:58) I've had three very different careers is what I've had. (1:03) You know, I was a flight attendant for Delta Airlines for nine years.
(1:07) Then I was a celebrity fashion stylist for 10. (1:09) And then I've been doing this 16. (1:11) But the theme of all of it is I always followed my passion.
(1:14) I always followed my passion. (1:16) So so this became a passion of mine, relationships, dating, talking about dating and relationships. (1:24) And I discovered online dating in the early 2000s and wanted to start my own online dating site, which I tried off and on for seven years.
(1:34) And it was just I didn't know about starting a big company tech. (1:37) I don't know. (1:38) So so then a mentor of mine said, Gina, why don't you think about being a traditional matchmaker?
(1:43) And and I just followed that passion down the rabbit hole. (1:47) And and it it just became it just sort of took on a life of its own. (1:51) I went all in.
(1:52) It wasn't something where I ever said the three careers I've had. (1:57) And as a flight attendant, it wasn't like I wanted to be a flight attendant. (2:00) The passion there was I really wanted to leave Memphis and live in L.A. And coincidentally, Delta had a base in Los Angeles. (2:09) So really, Los Angeles living in Los Angeles was the passion I followed there. (2:13) But otherwise, like even when I decided to leave flying and become a wardrobe stylist, I I never even thought of it as a toe in the water. (2:23) I literally went all in and burned the bridge behind me.
(2:26) And the same thing when I wanted to follow the passion of dating in the dating space and matchmaking. (2:32) I'd been good at matchmaking, but I really didn't know that much about it other than it just felt like a passion for me. (2:38) And so, again, I just went all in and burned the bridge behind me.
(2:41) So there wasn't another way back. (2:43) And and that that's kind of how I did it, you know, and sort of how they say you build the plane as you're flying. (2:49) That's kind of what I did.
(2:51) I was building the plane as I was flying. (2:52) I didn't know what I was doing other than I really wanted to help people. (2:55) And I love talking about love and dating.
(2:57) And I still do.
Julian Hayes II
(2:59) What is it about loving dating that excites you?
Gina Hendrix
(3:02) Oh, man. (3:03) The the complexities of of humans, I suppose. (3:08) It's also why I love animals, because on the other side, they aren't complex.
(3:13) So in my off time, I'm with my animals. (3:15) But humans have so many layers to them. (3:18) And I think dating has become more complicated, even though we have all these other roads that we can go down now and all this technology, I think with these options, it has made dating even harder.
(3:33) And so I'm just, man, I am still a of how people meet and connect. (3:39) And I'm always I'm like a mad scientist trying to figure out better ways to help people connect what what really sticks people together. (3:46) I mean, I have this other theory that I'm it's not even a theory.
(3:49) This whole thing that I've been thinking about lately is is I think that if you can get two people together to share some sort of interaction on a regular, ongoing basis, I think those two people, while if you had set them up on one initial date or had they just swiped on each other on the dating apps, they might have passed each other by other by. (4:10) But I think, you know, as we see people who go to school together, people who live in the same neighborhood and you see each other or work together, you interact on a regular basis. (4:20) This a lot of times is how a friendship develops and out of a friendship, a romance develops.
(4:25) Now, I don't know how I could translate that to to dating, like in terms of what I do. (4:31) But but I do think that theory has legs for sure.
Julian Hayes II
(4:36) I can personally attest to to that theory, actually, where if you like for me personally, the last couple of times, if we probably met on an app, probably would have passed over each other. (4:49) Right. (4:50) But we met in person.
(4:52) Right. (4:52) And you got to feel their energy out and converse. (4:56) And they became more attractive to you just by being the whole complete package and not just the looks in general.
(5:02) So I think there is something totally there with that.
Gina Hendrix
(5:07) And not not that I need another idea or maybe I'll give somebody else another idea to do it, which is totally fine with me. (5:14) But I think, you know, I also have it because I'm very philanthropic. (5:18) I love to give back.
(5:19) And I also think there is, again, being a mad scientist here, there is something also to be said by matching people based on your passions. (5:28) But I think philanthropy actually interests me. (5:31) So imagine if there was, like, I don't know, a dating site or something where you sort of matched people like now that you're all going to be doing a project for Habitat for Humanity and you're all working together to build a home.
(5:45) I believe that there could be relationships that develop during that time for sure, because you're interacting, you see different sides of people's personalities, or maybe it's we're a set group who always volunteers on Saturdays at a dog shelter or whatever it is that you guys are working together for a common goal of giving back, but you see each other on a regular ongoing basis.
Julian Hayes II
(6:08) Yeah. (6:08) You know, so sometimes when I hear modern dating and I hear people say that it's tougher and everything, I feel one part of me feels like you're making it tougher than what it really needs to be. (6:19) And then one hand, I have I have empathy for him, the sympathy and all that.
(6:24) But on the other hand, it's like it seems pretty simple. (6:28) If you tell me what seems simple. (6:30) OK, so for me, here's here's my logic of how, OK, if I'll speak in third person, if Julie wants to meet a compatible woman, I'm going to firstly, I'm going to go to places that I enjoy.
(6:41) I'm going to do activities that I enjoy. (6:43) And therefore, if I meet a girl there who I'm attracted to, who I like her energy, I can we already have a shared common interest right there. (6:52) And I'm going to go to places.
(6:53) And so I think that's step one, is to put yourself in environments that will be conducive to having these type of to having these types of moments come about. (7:04) Now, I think it gets complicated now when it comes to lifestyle and jobs and passions and careers, because I think sometimes depending on what you're doing, like I'm an entrepreneur, that's a pretty different lifestyle compared to someone who has a very set schedule. (7:21) So then you have to work on all those little nuances.
Gina Hendrix
(7:24) I mean, I so and I agree with you. (7:26) I agree with you on all that. (7:28) I think, though, where, you know, I don't and I don't think people are making it complex as much as the technologies made it complex as much as I love technology.
(7:40) You know, I think that I think that what happens is because a couple of things. (7:46) What I've experienced is these days, because of the the climate of the world, you have those men who will easily approach women just out of the blue, walking up to them at the grocery store or even on a street corner. (8:00) Those guys usually the reason they've become good at it is because they're good to a lot.
(8:07) Am I wrong about that?
Julian Hayes II
(8:09) Let's see. (8:10) Are you wrong? (8:11) I guess I need to bring myself back in there.
(8:13) I don't think you're wrong. (8:15) I think I think there's a certain type of confidence that it takes to do that.
Gina Hendrix
(8:20) But let me ask you a question, because I'm going to put your feet to the fire. (8:24) Are you I mean, who's going to admit to being a player? (8:27) But do you date a lot of are you're not married?
(8:30) Are you single?
Julian Hayes II
(8:31) No, no, no, I'm a single. (8:33) Well, not really. (8:35) Moving, moving toward that.
(8:37) Moving toward not being single, but not a not a player.
Gina Hendrix
(8:41) You're dating somebody right now.
Julian Hayes II
(8:43) Yeah.
Gina Hendrix
(8:44) Okay. (8:45) And and how long have you been dating her? (8:47) I'm going to gather some facts real quick.
Julian Hayes II
(8:49) Maybe it was about six or seven months.
Gina Hendrix
(8:52) Okay, that's a good amount of time. (8:53) And so before that, before you met her, were you dating a lot of ladies, a lot of different ladies? (8:58) Or have you always been in more long term relationships?
Julian Hayes II
(9:01) No, I wasn't. (9:02) I, I didn't use the apps, I just focus. (9:05) And I said that, um, if it happens out, if it happens out in the world, then it'll happen.
(9:10) But I actually I wasn't, I'm probably I'm probably an anomaly, if I'm being honest.
Gina Hendrix
(9:15) I think you are a bit of an of an anomaly. (9:18) I do believe because and listen, I this is what I tell people to there is people want to slap a label on somebody right away, right? (9:25) They hear detail and they want to slap a label.
(9:27) So look, I was even gravitating to that. (9:29) But I love to be proven wrong. (9:31) And I think we should all open minded to being proven wrong.
(9:33) Because what I've discovered as a matchmakers people have layers. (9:36) So you're an exception. (9:37) And there are exceptions to a lot of things.
(9:40) But the majority of guys who are so confident to march up to because they're running it as a numbers game. (9:47) Okay. (9:48) So therefore, when a guy comes up to a lady, and, you know, out of the blue, it throws her off because she if she has been doing online dating, and most everybody is doing some form these days, you know, she has no backstory on this guy, you know, whereas when we're looking at profiles online, we know their education, we know their intentions, usually put what they're looking.
(10:09) So So there is a bit of, I think, where we're at socially in the world in the climate. (10:14) And I think a lot of guys who are really, really good guys, don't want to be that guy that goes up to a woman for fear of, you know, crossing a line or making her feel uncomfortable. (10:23) And then that crossed with technology where people are so programmed to, once I start talking to you, I already have a backstory, like I already have a list I know about you.
(10:33) And I think these things make everything so complex. (10:37) I agree with you, if there probably are ways where it doesn't have to be for sure.
Julian Hayes II
(10:41) I would say I'm probably I'm probably I'm a little bit of a relic. (10:45) So and I clamor for old times. (10:47) So I have to realize that people probably not like my grandmother, my great grandmother, and even even my mom, right?
(10:52) In terms of like, I guess it's, there's something in my head, maybe I'm a bit of a romantic, I've seen too many rom coms or something, right? (10:59) Where it's just like you spontaneously meet, you meet out or something, and then you just get to talking. (11:04) And I just like that.
(11:05) But you make a very good point that times have definitely changed.
Gina Hendrix
(11:10) Yes.
Julian Hayes II
(11:10) And and technology has changed a lot. (11:13) And so you have to adapt to that.
Gina Hendrix
(11:15) And let me ask you a question. (11:18) How old are you?
Julian Hayes II
(11:19) I'm 38.
Gina Hendrix
(11:21) Okay, so that that's something else to consider. (11:23) Okay. (11:24) So I think still in your 30s, you guys are still going out a lot more.
(11:29) So I think as those people remain single, and they get older, I think opportunities to meet other people do get a little more elusive, and it gets a little more complicated. (11:40) You know, at 38, you don't have the baggage that somebody at 48 or 50 in their 50s have, you know, so I think I do think 20s and 30s. (11:51) It's still more of a social time where where you can it is easier.
(11:55) But I think as you get older, it gets harder. (11:57) So lock that girl down if you really like her.
Julian Hayes II
(12:00) I'm curious with the what type of guys will come to a matchmaker?
Gina Hendrix
(12:05) Oh, man. (12:06) Well, you know what, like I said, there's never a dull moment around here. (12:10) Do you know, I'm going through something right now, that's the most unique experience I've ever had.
(12:15) But I've had a lot of different scenarios. (12:17) But this is this is the most different one. (12:20) This guy is 19.
(12:22) I'm like, I know, I go now hang on a minute. (12:26) Am I reading this information? (12:27) Right?
(12:27) You're 19. (12:28) So he's 19. (12:29) Okay.
(12:30) He's in Buenos Aires. (12:32) He and while I have clients all over the world, he doesn't really speak much English. (12:36) So I just did a phone consultation with him yesterday, because that's where it starts.
(12:40) And I had to bring on my former assistant who's fluent in Spanish as an interpreter. (12:46) And it turned out he this kid, I'm going to call him a kid, but he sounds like this old soul. (12:51) The next step is I'm going to do a zoom with him.
(12:53) But he's like very old in advance for his age. (12:56) And I've dealt with I have dealt with a handful when younger guys come to me and want to hire me. (13:00) These guys are old souls.
(13:02) These guys have already built companies. (13:04) These guys are already extremely, you know, wealthy have traveled the world. (13:08) And he falls into that category.
(13:09) He said, I don't know what business this was. (13:11) But he said he started his first business at seven. (13:15) He's, he's a very unique character, for sure.
(13:19) I mean, we'll, we'll see to be determined, because I said to him, now, I don't really have a lot of ladies in Buenos Aires. (13:24) Are you willing to meet them in the United States? (13:27) I mean, well, I have women all over the world.
(13:29) But that might not be who he aligns with, whereas certainly my pool of ladies bigger in the US. (13:35) So and especially when you're talking about a young age category, I'm also not just going around stockpiling women 18 to he'll date up to 27. (13:45) I don't know if 27 year olds will date a 19 year old.
(13:47) I don't know about that. (13:48) But you know, in his age category, I told him it's going to take a little bit and you may have to come to the US. (13:54) And he said he'd bring an interpreter and he would do it.
(13:57) I don't know. (13:58) I mean, talk about like Mr. Toad's Wild Ride. (14:01) This this is going to be different for sure.
Julian Hayes II
(14:04) Yeah, that is very interesting. (14:06) Yeah, that's that's very fascinating to.
Gina Hendrix
(14:10) I've learned someone I've learned so many different things from so many different guys. (14:14) But if it to answer your question in terms of if there's like a theme to a guy who shows up, I think they're the guys that don't want to do online dating. (14:23) They're the guys that have or dating apps.
(14:26) They don't want to have they don't they don't maybe they're not maybe that guy like you who's so comfortable going up to a woman and or they're extremely wealthy and they really want somebody who screens and vets and it's more time efficient for them.
Julian Hayes II
(14:41) Speaking of that, with with entrepreneurs and even execs, is it a lot of times some of your guys, a lot of them, is it are they already established or are they in the process of like the early stages of maybe a startup or something? (14:55) Because I feel like maybe two I feel like both of those life cycles may present different challenges when it comes to dating.
Gina Hendrix
(15:02) Yes. (15:03) And and I have had both scenarios, although because my fee is, you know, it's not, you know, it's not inexpensive, let's say, you know, my fee is not a low a low fee. (15:19) And so if a man is just starting his career or starting his business or trying to kick off a startup, unless this is his second startup, I have had those guys that have sold and starting a new company.
(15:31) But if a guy's just starting up, you know, I think that he doesn't he might not quite want to put out the money that I charge. (15:38) So, you know, so there's that. (15:40) And I think that puts the limitation on on the type of guys I work with.
(15:45) It's it's and I'm not even comfortable like I had one man come to me recently and he was like going to like try to mortgage or do something with a mortgage on his house. (15:53) Or I was like, absolutely not. (15:55) Absolutely not.
(15:56) He was going to try to free up cash to to to work with me. (16:00) And I was like, no, no, no, no, that's not going to happen. (16:03) No, I don't want to do that.
Julian Hayes II
(16:04) Well, I appreciate his dedication to finding love, but I'm not sure that's the right match.
Gina Hendrix
(16:09) No, no, no. (16:11) And it also paid another company. (16:14) And, you know, a lot of companies make themselves sound like math making, but they're really not.
(16:18) And and they take people's money and they don't help them. (16:20) And that's a bummer. (16:21) And that company certainly did that.
(16:23) So they he actually spent a lot of money on that company and he got stood up six times with six different women. (16:30) And the company still counted those as introductions. (16:33) I don't see how somebody how any company could consider themselves ethical if they weren't saying to him, we won't count those introductions against you.
Julian Hayes II
(16:43) Yeah, it doesn't make sense. (16:44) I think I read something that said 98 percent success rate. (16:48) Am I correct?
Gina Hendrix
(16:49) Usually I mean, oh, and mainly it's because I'm very picky about the guys I work with. (16:54) So I'm already setting myself up for success out of the gate because I'm never going to work with just any guy that wants to work with me. (17:01) Right.
(17:01) I really have to feel like I can get him what he wants, like even even the the the 19 year old in Buenos Aires. (17:08) I am not fully saying that I'm going to work with him or not. (17:13) Right.
(17:13) I go on a fact finding mission with them and really and really have to feel like, is this going to is this going to work? (17:21) Like, are we going to be able to do this? (17:23) You know, so and then I have to also for him, you know, make sure that his expectations are in alignment with mine, because if somebody is challenging out of the gate, meaning I don't have a lot of ladies in Buenos Aires and he's going to have to come to the U.S., am I going to be able to get these women younger, younger women to also have the look? (17:45) Because men always have a look. (17:46) They're starts there and then we go to inner qualities. (17:50) You know, you might be an exception, but most of the men always have a look.
(17:55) You know, I have to I have to match up all of that. (17:58) And then she still has to be interested in him. (18:00) So it's like a balancing act of like spinning two plates at the same time.
(18:04) So so I won't always say yes to a guy. (18:07) And that already sets me up for success because I feel like I can really help him. (18:10) I usually can.
Julian Hayes II
(18:11) I think that's actually better, even just from a whole business and branding and just overall energy thing just to not to accept everyone. (18:19) Yeah, it's it's it's off putting. (18:22) So I think that's so much better.
(18:24) So I'm curious, how do you go about finding the right women that would be appropriate for these men?
Gina Hendrix
(18:33) Well, I'm very protective of my guys. (18:36) So just, you know, and again, now that I've gotten a little bit popular on social media in the last few years, the women are coming at me like tsunami, right? (18:43) Because they know I represent like eligible, amazing guys.
(18:47) And I'm picky. (18:48) And so they must be great guys. (18:50) And so the women are like coming at me.
(18:52) But, you know, just because a woman is beautiful, just because she's a lot of things, if she's really just coming to me because she just wants any old dude with money, she's never going to get access to my guys. (19:04) Never. (19:05) So I'm very, very picky on my guys behalf.
(19:07) I have to make sure that she's going to match, you know, the looks and all the inner qualities. (19:14) And then it matches on both sides, too. (19:17) So, you know, so the women come to me on their own.
(19:20) That's one way. (19:20) Or if I'm really like I need somebody, someone specific, I'll do a social media video, which always calls a lot of ladies in or or I have scouts behind the scenes that are looking on different social media sites and doing hashtags to try to look at ladies who might look the part because we've got to start exterior and then work inward. (19:43) And that's how I do it.
(19:43) And then they fill out a profile. (19:45) And then I really understand more what they're, you know, not only about them, but also the type of man they're looking for. (19:53) And that all has to align.
(19:54) And I feel like it all aligns that I'm going to get on Zoom with her. (19:58) And I'm or if she's in L.A., I'll meet her in person. (20:00) And then I get a feel for her personality.
(20:02) Does she even have a personality? (20:05) Does she have weird vibes? (20:07) Does she not even look like her pictures?
(20:08) Like I'm screening for all those things.
Julian Hayes II
(20:11) Oh, that's interesting. (20:13) That's really interesting. (20:13) You know, what I hear from this is like this is very time efficient and effective for.
Gina Hendrix
(20:18) There you go. (20:20) Yes, it is. (20:22) I cut to the chase.
Julian Hayes II
(20:23) Yeah, because I'm hearing this in my head. (20:25) I'm like, man, this is a very effective and efficient process because you're still getting personal values and all those important things that you would always want. (20:32) But you're also getting the looks as well.
Gina Hendrix
(20:34) Right.
Julian Hayes II
(20:34) And you're saving them time from having to go out or go through people that don't work out and all those types of things.
Gina Hendrix
(20:41) Absolutely. (20:41) And I also do something very unique that I think all matchmakers should do, and I wish they did. (20:47) And this is how anybody can test to see if a matchmaker is ethical or not, is I stand behind the women I match with my guys.
(20:55) So if I owe my guys, let's say he's he signed up for nine introductions. (20:59) OK, if I and I tell my guys this all the time, that if I ever set you up with a woman and I've totally misled you, like she shows up and she's nothing like I said or how I described her or whatever. (21:12) And they see pictures and they see video if I because a lot of times I'll take a little video snippet.
(21:17) But but if if she shows up and she's nothing like how I pitched her, I won't even count that introduction against you, you know, like because I'm I'm on your side. (21:28) You and I are as a team. (21:29) It's not like, oh, how can I get this guy off my plate by tricking him into going out with these women?
(21:34) And it's a bait and switch. (21:34) No, I'm in it to win it. (21:36) And I think if every matchmaker was truly ethical, they would also stand by that.
(21:42) But, you know, but they don't.
Julian Hayes II
(21:45) Yeah. (21:46) So let's say this. (21:47) So there's let's see in the process.
(21:48) So let's say I'm in Tennessee right now. (21:50) Right. (21:50) I'm in Nashville.
Gina Hendrix
(21:51) Oh, I didn't know. (21:52) I'm from Memphis. (21:53) Did you know that?
Julian Hayes II
(21:53) I did. (21:54) I just I remember I was getting ready to ask you that. (21:57) You know, I'll come back to it.
(21:58) Actually, I'm going to ask this question. (21:59) So you're from Memphis and favorite part about Memphis?
Gina Hendrix
(22:07) Being from Memphis.
Julian Hayes II
(22:08) Being from Memphis. (22:09) OK.
Gina Hendrix
(22:10) That's my favorite part about Memphis. (22:13) Isn't that terrible? (22:14) Isn't that terrible?
(22:15) I mean, I like being from Memphis. (22:18) But I you know, I think, you know, Memphis is rough, man. (22:23) Memphis is rough.
(22:25) It's not like Nashville at all. (22:26) And all my family's in Memphis. (22:29) But, you know, I do like I do like the the Memphis does have heart and soul for sure.
(22:34) You know what I mean? (22:35) It's the blues and it's it's music is a whole part of the the the culture. (22:42) And that's in me.
(22:44) And I think also a very down to earth realness that people like about me definitely comes from growing up in Memphis. (22:52) You know what I mean? (22:53) For sure.
(22:53) So but yeah, being from Memphis is probably my favorite favorite.
Julian Hayes II
(22:57) I mean, once you said you were from Memphis and I could feel the Tennessee and just the southern charm and the southern energy. (23:06) And that's true.
Gina Hendrix
(23:07) I do have that. (23:08) I never let that go. (23:09) I've been in Los Angeles since 1989.
(23:12) And yet here I am still with my southern southern charm, if you will.
Julian Hayes II
(23:17) I don't think you ever get rid of it. (23:18) And I think that's actually that's actually one of the good selling points for all the southern guys that are not afraid to go out and talk to women out in the real world.
Gina Hendrix
(23:26) That's true. (23:26) You're right about that. (23:28) There is there is there is an angle there.
(23:29) There's an angle.
Julian Hayes II
(23:30) Yeah, there's very much angle. (23:32) And so but back to the question I was going to ask, OK, say I'm I'm in Nashville and say maybe I guess am I just limited to your connections in this area or is it nationwide?
Gina Hendrix
(23:45) Well, I prefer if a guy says I'm willing to meet women anywhere. (23:49) I prefer because that, you know, that opens up everything. (23:52) Right.
(23:53) And I have I have the most mind-blowingly gorgeous women in my database who are phenomenal in every way. (23:58) But because I only work with a small pool of guys, I only work with seven to eight guys ever at one time that are active on my roster. (24:07) I've got all these women in the database that are I'm not joking when I say they're beating my door down.
(24:11) They're like, Gina, do you have anybody to set me up with Gina? (24:13) And I'm like, I only work with seven or eight guys. (24:16) And they're all looking for different types of ladies.
(24:19) A woman will be like, I'm in Boston. (24:22) And I'm like being in Boston means nothing if you're not the right age range, if he's not the right age. (24:28) I mean, just being in the location doesn't mean anything.
(24:30) So I have women all over who are looking for phenomenal guys. (24:34) So, yes, when a guy sign wants to work with me and he says I'm willing to meet women everywhere, that is music to my ears. (24:41) That's definitely going to make me want to work with him more than somebody who says I only want to meet women in a 30 mile radius.
(24:48) That's going to be very hard.
Julian Hayes II
(24:49) How picky can you get as a guy when it comes to this process?
Gina Hendrix
(24:53) I'm just like how picky I get. (24:56) That's such a broad question. (24:59) I'll tell you where I drew the line.
(25:01) I'll tell you where I drew the line. (25:02) And I do draw the line at other things. (25:04) I've heard things where so.
(25:07) So in the beginning, before I even decide to work with a guy, I'll send him like a handful of profiles for his review. (25:13) OK, and I'm sending him the profiles for my sake because I know that I'm going to send him my most beautiful women. (25:20) Right.
(25:20) Obviously. (25:21) But I also will throw in a range of some that might not be as beautiful, but still beautiful by most people's standards. (25:27) And if I send him 10 or 11 profiles and he's picking the woman apart and say, well, her eyes aren't symmetrical or her top lip is is a little too flat or or this one guy.
(25:40) And I know he had hired every matchmaker. (25:42) I never worked with him, but he tried several times to work with me. (25:46) He had this long criteria and where he really lost me was where he was talking about the actual circumference of the top part of her arm.
(25:54) Wow. (25:55) Yeah. (25:55) That was like I was like and no, I even had a client.
(25:59) Unfortunately, I didn't know he was going to be like this, although I should have. (26:01) He was a plastic surgeon until I started working with him. (26:04) But he was very concerned with her butt and her butt shape.
(26:08) And I'm like, I'm like, what am I, a butt hunter now? (26:11) I don't know. (26:12) Now I've got to start looking at asses.
(26:14) I was a little uncomfortable with that. (26:18) Yeah, I've heard it all. (26:19) Let me tell you, I've heard it all.
Julian Hayes II
(26:21) Well, that answers the question about pickiness. (26:22) I mean, that's that's super picky in terms of in terms of like the the inches in on their arm and everything.
Gina Hendrix
(26:29) I mean, it's crazy and it's where I won't work with them. (26:32) I won't work with them.
Julian Hayes II
(26:33) So I'm curious, what are what are some of the biggest mistakes that you see guys make, especially guys that are a little more of a high achiever, more established positions? (26:43) What do you see in terms of their dating and relationship that's preventing them from making these meaningful connections?
Gina Hendrix
(26:49) Right. (26:50) I think certainly being too picky is one of them. (26:53) You know, I had one younger guy that I worked with a few years ago.
(26:57) He was fantastic. (26:58) But the first time I worked with him, he was like that. (27:01) Eyes are not symmetrical enough, blah, blah, blah.
(27:04) She looks like a baby bird. (27:06) What does that even mean? (27:08) And things like this.
(27:09) Yeah, I don't know. (27:10) And so then he came back after a year and he was like, Gina, I'm not as picky. (27:18) And so he was willing to be more open minded.
(27:21) So that already is going to help him out of the gate. (27:24) But also some young guys that come along are a little like, especially if they're new to money and they're new to wealth. (27:31) You know, a lot of these women that they date have usually dated wealthy men so they know how to be treated.
(27:37) So when these young guys come along and they're like babes in the woods and they don't have a clue, like I'll give you some examples. (27:44) One example is is one of my younger guys went to pick up this girl that he was super excited to meet. (27:49) And she and she was a model, but she was also well read and very sophisticated.
(27:53) She traveled the world. (27:54) So when she walks out to the car, he picked her up. (27:58) He was like, I guess he was he had gotten out of the car, but he was leaning against his hood.
(28:03) But he's looking down his phone the whole time. (28:05) And she says, Gina, I came out. (28:07) I walked to the car.
(28:07) He just looked up, said, hey. (28:09) And she said he didn't even open my door for me. (28:11) He just nodded to me.
(28:12) And then he got it. (28:13) And so and so I kind of had to tell him these things. (28:16) And at first he was like offended.
(28:18) Oh, that's so patriarchal. (28:21) That's that's not even on brand for me. (28:24) He was using all these things.
(28:26) And then and then he ended up really liking her and wanted to go out on a second date. (28:30) She wasn't interested. (28:31) And then he went back and he must have talked to one of his older guy friends who was more savvy than he was.
(28:36) And then he started walking it back. (28:38) And he realized that there were certain things that he should have been doing, like proper manners. (28:44) Honestly, I don't care whether you're 20 or you're 70, proper manners for a woman never go out of style.
(28:51) They're never she's never not going to like like being treated like a princess or a queen. (28:57) You know what I mean? (28:58) And then I think the other mistakes, again, like not realizing that you if you're going to be at the valet, you pay her valet and you wait while she gets her car.
(29:07) You don't jump in your car and say, see you while she's just still sort of standing there. (29:11) Just little little things. (29:12) Manners really is really, I think, go so much further than many even realize just manners.
Julian Hayes II
(29:18) See, you're ingrained with that stuff in the South. (29:21) It's not even like it's just it's just automatic. (29:23) You don't even have a problem with that.
(29:25) Right.
Gina Hendrix
(29:25) Fair enough. (29:26) See a lot. (29:26) But a lot of guys are I don't know what this 19 year old his manners are.
(29:31) But I also think that a lot of so then there's that phase. (29:34) There's there's the younger guy. (29:35) But now when you get into older guys and they're dating, I would say the mistakes they make is that they're talking about their baggage a lot.
(29:42) A lot of times stuck on the past. (29:46) And I've had women say, Gina, he was talking so much about his ex wife or his kids. (29:50) I want to go out with a man who's talking about what our life could look like in the future.
(29:55) And not like us as a couple, but like trips. (29:59) He's you know, people want to hear about what you have planned and you're excited about in the future, not dragging around your baggage from the past. (30:07) And I think that's a common mistake.
Julian Hayes II
(30:09) So I hear one of the things right here. (30:11) You know, if any guy wanted to be successful with women or become more successful women, if he could be if he can improve his storytelling and painting a vision, painting where we're going and how does she fit into this story? (30:24) Am I correct there?
Gina Hendrix
(30:25) I think so. (30:26) Or or even, you know, because she's going to be hearing in her head how she could fit in. (30:32) So he doesn't need to say that because a lot of times, you know, these days women are very paranoid about are you are you being gaslighted or is he, you know, is he, you know, all these like, you know, popular words for things.
(30:46) So you never want to you never want to talk about like if you just meet a woman like, oh, we could go on this trip and that because she's going to hear bullshit right away in her mind. (30:56) Do you know what I mean? (30:57) She's going to think, oh, he's gaslighting, not gaslighting.
(31:00) What's the other one? (31:02) Well, you know, not gaslighting. (31:04) It's the one.
(31:06) Did I just say it where, you know, where he's God, I know these terms like the back of my hand, except I don't I don't know these terms.
Julian Hayes II
(31:13) I'm a I'm a I'm a I'm an old relic. (31:15) Wow. (31:16) I don't know.
Gina Hendrix
(31:17) Your listeners are going to be shouting into the thing saying this term, you know, and I and I talk about it on a daily basis. (31:23) So why why it's not in my brain just means I'm an old lady anyway. (31:27) But anyway, all these terms.
(31:29) So I think you want you want to talk about like things you have planned, like I'm taking this trip or, you know, I'm you know, I even had I even had this woman I set up with a guy recently and she was just saying, Gina, he just didn't have anything interesting to say, like he's not doing anything women care about. (31:49) It's not really about money. (31:51) It's more about your manners and also like a lifestyle.
(31:55) Does it look like you guys are going to have fun together? (31:58) And that's not always about money because there's a lot of guys with money. (32:01) This guy had money, but he's got nothing interesting happening and he's not excited.
(32:06) So, you know, I think guys who want to do better with women need to really. (32:12) Not have any kind of chip on their shoulder and they need to be willing to be polite and and have the manners thing dialed in. (32:20) Right.
(32:20) And then also have something interesting and fun to talk about that you're excited about in your life because she's going to feel that energy and that's what's going to call her in.
Julian Hayes II
(32:31) Yeah, I mean, I'm glad you said that because this is a hill that I'm willing to die on. (32:34) And I've talked to friends about this all the time that a lot of times people say that it's about money and status and that's what you have to have to be successful in dating. (32:41) And I always said that I think if you're interesting and she sees that you're going somewhere that you have ambition that you, you know, even if you're not there yet.
(32:52) That's often.
Gina Hendrix
(32:53) Yeah, no music to her ears. (32:56) She because again, if you're ever debating this with someone, I've tested it in the real world. (33:02) So you tell them Gina said that, you know, I set a very, very successful man up who wants to start a family and he's great in every way and he has money and he has resources, but he has nothing that's like he's not doing any.
(33:19) He's not living with ambition right now. (33:20) He's not passionate about something excited about something, you know, and and that's where he lost her and he really liked her, but she didn't want to go out with him again because you know that I think they'd way rather. (33:31) I think women, I think it's safe to say women would way rather have a guy who's maybe not quite there yet, but he is on fire with that passion trying to accomplish it.
(33:42) And he's not just talking about it because there's a lot of wantrepreneurs out there who are like talk, make it sound like they're doing stuff, but then they're not. (33:49) If he's actively living his passion, even if he's not super rich yet, that's going to be exciting to her.
Julian Hayes II
(33:55) Yeah, and so I have a I have some female listeners as well, and so I'm curious on that end. (34:01) What are some of the things that they could probably do to improve them chance their chances of meeting more of a high quality male?
Gina Hendrix
(34:09) I would say definitely be as authentic as you can possibly be, but I do think men also, I think in my world. (34:23) Hold on, I'm gonna I've got to come up with this word to I'm googling. (34:28) I'm gonna come up.
(34:29) So I think for women, love bombing. (34:31) There we go. (34:32) Love bombing.
Julian Hayes II
(34:32) Love bombing.
Gina Hendrix
(34:33) Okay, I had because it was like rattling around on my brain. (34:36) I had to pick it up. (34:37) Yes, love bombing.
(34:38) So there's that. (34:39) But I think for women, I think that they should be open minded because you know a lot of women, if he's under six feet, they won't date him. (34:49) Or I think women get very judgmental about that stuff.
(34:53) And I and also, they tend to gravitate to those guys that are like, and like men do to the shiniest object. (34:59) But I think for women, they really need to be focusing on more internal qualities of the guy. (35:05) I'm not saying they should go out with a hunchback troll, but I am saying be more open minded.
(35:11) Does this man match your long term goals? (35:15) Is he treating you the way you want to be treated and kind of lean more in on that, then you know how cute he is or how tall he is, because all that stuff will disappear over time. (35:26) I mean, his height won't necessarily disappear.
(35:28) But if he ends up being a jerk, or doesn't or isn't going to be a good husband and father who cares how tall he is?
Julian Hayes II
(35:34) Yeah, I saw a video of yours. (35:36) And I thought it was interesting. (35:37) And so maybe we can turn this into a little game.
(35:39) We'll do both men and women. (35:41) And so I saw it says who he dates versus who he marries. (35:45) What was the difference about that?
(35:47) Well, who does he date, compared to who does he marry?
Gina Hendrix
(35:51) Well, who he dates might be just about anybody. (35:56) Because you know, it's so funny, I literally had this scenario come up the other day with a man, and he's no spring chicken. (36:01) And he does have that southern accent.
(36:04) But he kind of was not like an awesome guy. (36:09) He and of course, I'm not going to work with him as a client. (36:12) But he was like, initially, when he filled out the profile for me, he put that he was so open minded, like I would date a broad age range, he would date any ethnicity, he was open on a lot so many things, right.
(36:24) But then when I talked to him, and I said, Okay, I'm going to be sending you profiles of, you know, prospective women that I might be able to set you up with, I want your feedback. (36:32) Oh, oh, oh, well, if we're talking about for serious relationship, then that will be different. (36:38) You know what I'm saying?
(36:39) And so for dating purposes, men will date women who, who are not a long term fit for them at all. (36:49) And, you know, and women have to really pay attention to to the signs. (36:54) And there's a lot to look for.
(36:55) But but easily, men will date a woman who is just is like high maintenance, but she's super beautiful. (37:03) And she's high maintenance. (37:04) Oh, he'll date her, but he's not going to marry her.
(37:07) Okay. (37:07) A woman who is difficult in some way makes his life. (37:14) Not not easy.
(37:15) He'd probably consider her like a tiger in the sack, but he's not going to marry her. (37:19) You know what I mean? (37:20) Like, that's not going to be enough to marry, he's going to marry the woman who, who's going to make his life easier, who he sees as a good partner.
(37:28) And I think when it's when they're, and again, I see it divided into two, when they're younger guys, and they're trying to start families, they're going to want to date women who aren't going to be trying to have children right away. (37:40) So a lot of these guys who are 37 to 40, early 40s, they will date women who might be around their age range. (37:51) But they will be telling me they want women much younger in order to buy them time before they start a family.
Julian Hayes II
(37:57) Mm hmm.
Gina Hendrix
(37:59) That's what they tell me anyway. (38:01) And so, and so I think for women, they would want to be, if they're 30, honestly, if they're 37 to 40, and they want to start a family, I think they should be dating men who are into their early 40s, or even mid 40s, who are also going to be on that same timeline, because men run around their age in that age bracket, on a different timeline. (38:23) So the younger guys who haven't started families yet, they're looking for women who are accomplished, who they can be proud of to be the mother of their children.
(38:31) And so they're looking for those kind of fundamentals to start a family with. (38:35) Whereas older men who've been there, done that, and then maybe on the second go round, they're really looking for women who are going to be a little more easygoing, who likes to play golf with them, who likes to snow ski with them, who's going to be more of that kind of partner for that side of the life. (38:51) They're not necessarily, they don't care about her education at that point.
(38:54) They don't even care how accomplished she is. (38:56) They just want somebody who's going to make their life a lot easier, and will be fun to spend time with.
Julian Hayes II
(39:02) And what about, let's turn this to the females now. (39:05) Who does she date, compared to who does she marry?
Gina Hendrix
(39:09) That's interesting. (39:11) She, well, I think with women, they trick themselves. (39:14) I think with women, she will date, this is a great one though.
(39:17) I think women will date a guy, okay, hoping he will be more successful, hoping he will be a lot of the things that he's not while she's dating him, because she thinks he's cute and she's, you know, she's got the feels. (39:36) But she's just hoping that one day he'll turn out to be better than he is. (39:43) And this is like an old, this is an old saying, this is nothing new.
(39:47) You know, men, they say, marry women hoping the woman will never change, and women marry men hoping they will change in some way. (39:56) You know, and this is what gets people into trouble, especially women. (39:59) Women end up getting into relationships with men.
(40:01) And then I'll give you, I'll give you a great scenario. (40:04) This is, this is a story hot off the press because it just happened to me two nights ago. (40:07) Okay.
(40:08) I was at a wine. (40:12) So I was like chatting, I get, I start giving people more unsolicited advice when I've had, you know, a couple drinks. (40:17) And, uh, and so I was chatting, this girl was, she was so adorable.
(40:21) And I was like, you're adorable. (40:22) You'd be great for my database. (40:24) You know, I was a little chatty and, uh, because I'm chatty normally, but I'm extra chatty.
(40:28) Anyway, I'm extra. (40:29) What can I say? (40:30) Um, anyway.
(40:30) And so she was adorable. (40:31) She says, oh, well, I'm, I'm a widow, but I just started seeing this guy. (40:35) So she'd been seeing a guy for three months.
(40:37) Okay. (40:38) So she said, basically, she's not on the market. (40:40) Um, it's still, it's been very, very hard for her to get over losing her husband, but essentially she's 39.
(40:46) And I, I know the questions to ask. (40:48) So I said, do you want to have kids? (40:50) And she said, well, I did with my husband and yes, I'd still like to.
(40:54) So at 39, I said, you don't have time to waste here. (40:57) Does he want kids? (40:59) And she says, well, they met on hinge.
(41:01) She says, well, no, he doesn't. (41:03) He initially, he said he didn't want kids. (41:05) Okay.
(41:05) And so I said, she said, I said, well, you then you need to put his feet to the fire. (41:12) Cause she was also, she used to be a therapist. (41:14) So she knows what questions to ask.
(41:16) Um, so she said, well, he's now starting to say, maybe at some point he'll want kids. (41:21) Okay. (41:22) But I've been there, done that with these conversations with women.
(41:24) And so I said to her, here's what's really going on. (41:27) Okay. (41:28) He's going to stall you until you can't have kids.
(41:33) That's what he's secretly going to do. (41:35) And she said, what? (41:36) She said, that's horrible.
(41:37) And I said, it's horrible. (41:39) But if he's told you, you didn't want kids and he knows he's dating a woman 39, he's going to give you maybe, maybe, maybe until he's hoping it can't happen anymore. (41:50) And I said, and so she was like, Oh, you know, and her mother happened to be there with her and her mother's like, no, no, no, he's going to do it.
(41:57) He's. (41:57) And I said, I said, listen, I said, she just needs to get clear on it. (42:01) Whatever it is, she sees get clear.
(42:03) Well, anyway, long story short, I didn't tell her to go home and do it that night. (42:06) I did not tell her that I, I said, you need to think about what you want and get clear here. (42:11) Well, the next morning I wake up and I must've wound her up enough.
(42:14) So she went to him and she put his feet to the fire because she was going to go and meet his family. (42:19) She in like a few weeks and a few weeks. (42:22) Right.
(42:23) And so she put his feet to the fire and she came back and she said, we broke up. (42:27) This was a text and she did broken heart. (42:29) We broke up.
(42:30) He said, he doesn't want kids. (42:31) Boom. (42:33) Had she not put his feet to the fire, he would have been dating her.
(42:37) He would have married her. (42:38) He would have strung her along hoping that she couldn't, they wouldn't get pregnant. (42:44) And that sucks.
Julian Hayes II
(42:45) Yeah, it does. (42:46) Yeah, it does. (42:47) That's, that's, Ooh, that's tough.
Gina Hendrix
(42:50) I know that stuff, but you've got to have the hard conversations with people because she was hoping, here's what was happening. (42:56) She was hoping he would change his mind and he was hoping that, I don't know about changing her mind, but he was hoping to just waste her time to where the clock ran out. (43:07) And then what you'd have is two people down the road who were married and resented each other for whatever reasons.
(43:13) Well, she would have resented him.
Julian Hayes II
(43:15) So it sounds like, so it sounds like for women, there's a delicate balance because it's not saying that you need to be at the finish line and a finished product, but you, but on certain things you have to take at base value from day one, like what the kids think. (43:27) But in terms of like maybe career trajectory and all that, if you see that he's trending in the right direction and is showing those traits and qualities, that's fine. (43:38) Right.
Gina Hendrix
(43:38) That's fine. (43:39) Yeah. (43:39) Yeah.
(43:39) But you can't take a guy that has no ambition and a lot of successful, amazing women do this all the time because they know that they're such a badass that they think that they can be a badass for two. (43:51) I've done it too. (43:52) Right.
(43:52) I lived with a guy who's a total loser. (43:54) This was when I was a flight attendant and he, well, he was, he just wanted to surf and he didn't really want to work much. (44:00) And, you know and, and I kept trying to turn him into something he wasn't and it caused a lot of fights and it was not good, but I thought I got it going on.
(44:12) I can get, I can fix him up. (44:13) And a lot of women make that mistake and it's just not going to happen. (44:17) So I think that for, for people, men and women, you have to take somebody exactly as they are right now.
(44:25) And if you're fine with everything they are, somebody wants to have children and you understand that's part of the deal. (44:32) Great. (44:32) Or if you meet a guy and he has no ambition, but you're fine with that, you're fine with that, not tricking yourself to think you can make him better.
(44:40) Then that's awesome. (44:41) But you can't get together with people hoping and secretly thinking that they'll change in any way, because that's not going to happen unless they want to do it. (44:50) But it's going to, it's going to be on their own timeline and it may never happen.
Julian Hayes II
(44:55) Absolutely. (44:55) You mentioned something about like successful women. (44:58) And I know a lot of like very successful women that are in leadership roles as well.
(45:03) And I hear that they struggle with when it comes to dating a lot of times with men and everything. (45:09) They do. (45:10) What is some of the, I guess, advice for them?
(45:13) Because I think it's a very precarious position.
Gina Hendrix
(45:16) I agree with that a hundred percent. (45:18) I think that, well, I think they do a few things, you know, like one, just what I talked about. (45:24) They tend to, you know, want like, I want to look gorgeous for you.
(45:30) So they tend to, they tend to sometimes pick guys oftentimes who are not at their level and they think they can build it up. (45:41) So there's that, there's that mistake they make. (45:43) But then I think also, again, if a woman doesn't find a man at her level, she will oftentimes even steamroll over him and he may kind of be at her level.
(45:55) I have seen this with, you know, some very successful women that I, that I work with my coaching program. (46:00) So I only do matchmaking for men, but I do coaching for women where they work with me for 12 weeks. (46:06) And I get in there and look at the, I get them on the dating apps because that's how I can see what they're doing.
(46:11) And I'll see the conversations they're having. (46:13) And this one woman, she's very prominent attorney. (46:15) And she's taking a guy who, who, he has it going on, but she just starts steamrolling over him, just kind of controlling where they're going to go, bringing her alpha, you know, and, and, and I had to point it out.
(46:28) I said, Hey, you realize you're steamrolling over this guy. (46:31) And what's going to happen is you keep steamrolling over him. (46:34) And then all of a sudden you're, you're going to emasculate him and you're not going to like him anymore.
(46:39) And he's not going to like what you're doing to him. (46:41) So I think energetically a woman and, you know, and it's not fair because she has to be a business woman, but then she has to switch gears. (46:48) But as a woman, we really, really have to be conscious of it.
(46:53) And we have to be self-aware enough to be able to recognize the balancing act that that has to happen. (46:59) You know what I mean? (47:00) And, uh, and I think, I think that's, that's kind of what she needs to make sure that she, she picks men at a certain level.
(47:08) Um, and if she wants somebody who's not at a level, she has to be okay with that. (47:12) And then she has to make sure that she's not going to steamroll over him because she is used to being in charge.
Julian Hayes II
(47:17) Yeah. (47:17) I also do think then this is where once again, um, I'm going to give all the guys that are, once again, that are not afraid to go out and talk to women in the real world, because I think also there's a certain type of confidence that that type of person projects. (47:31) And in my experience, and just with just talking to people (47:34) through the grapevine, it seems like even with those types of women, where maybe they do have (47:38) to be the leader, the alpha throughout the day that they're a little more inclined easily to (47:45) relinquish that quote unquote alphaness a hundred percent and step into their natural feminine, (47:50) because it's more of a type of confidence and energy that the man is projecting.
Gina Hendrix
(47:54) I agree. (47:55) You're right. (47:56) And women would love, would love to step away.
(47:59) If they feel like the man has got this, if he's got it, she's definitely going to want to just lean more into her feminine hundred percent. (48:07) You're right about that.
Julian Hayes II
(48:08) So that gets me questioning the guys that you work with. (48:12) I'm curious. (48:14) A lot of times it's not just even about finding the right woman for them.
(48:18) I feel like there's a lot of personal development that they have to do as well. (48:21) Am I right on that? (48:22) In terms of like, there's little aspects that I guess, maybe not, you're not telling them to do, but different things brought up.
(48:30) Like for me, I would say I had to work on like my self-esteem and self-belief in myself to see myself the same that the way the world sees me a lot of times. (48:37) And those are things. (48:38) And that made my whole interaction with the world better when I start seeing myself differently and working on myself, if that makes sense.
Gina Hendrix
(48:45) For sure. (48:46) I think that, you know, the guys I work with at the level they're at, they've achieved a lot and they don't have a lot of people around them necessarily giving them feedback unless they're working with somebody who's in that role. (48:59) But even if they have a therapist, that therapist isn't necessarily giving them real world feedback where, you know, when they go out on dates, the women tell me.
(49:07) And so I'm giving them feedback that sometimes can be hard to hear. (49:11) And, and so they would, these guys would never hire me for coaching, but I do slip coaching in just, you know, as feedback from the women. (49:21) And so different guys, I think everybody as a human has different areas of their life they can work on that, that they don't know, because we all have our blinders on and we can't see our blind spots.
(49:33) Right. (49:33) And so I'm able to spot the blind spots through getting the feedback from these women. (49:39) And hopefully a man is interested in, uh, being self-aware and his own personal development to take this feedback and do something with it because it's super valuable feedback.
(49:50) I mean, this is Intel from women on how women see the man that they would never get any otherwise. (49:57) And I have those clients who love the feedback. (49:59) And then I have, I've had those clients who are like, get very upset about the feedback, you know?
(50:04) So, and I think those who get upset about the feedback are the ones that are going to continue to struggle with dating.
Julian Hayes II
(50:10) Absolutely. (50:11) And to kind of go to a different topic here, um, when I was researching you and I noticed you had like a shopping page and, um, with all different styles of dresses and recommendations for women and different things. (50:22) Yeah.
(50:23) And, um, I was like, man, she's really into fashion. (50:25) Did I was like, Oh, wait a minute. (50:26) She's a celebrity fashion stylist.
(50:28) It's one of her things. (50:29) So I'm curious what was maybe one, one or two of the most, um, interesting things about being, doing that.
Gina Hendrix
(50:38) Oh gosh. (50:39) I love styling. (50:40) I mean, because I just love it anyway.
(50:43) You know what I mean? (50:44) I love fashion and I love, uh, I have this creative flair to me. (50:48) I just designed a greenhouse.
(50:50) I mean, I love doing stuff like that. (50:52) So I think, I think, you know, probably when I was a stylist, I think one of my favorite things was, was seeing a vision for somebody like in, in terms of what they should wear, whether any, even towards the end, I, I was getting into more costume designing for film. (51:07) So you'd have a character and, and you'd think about what does their lifestyle look like?
(51:11) What would they wear day to day? (51:12) What would they wear for this? (51:14) Um, so I love doing that.
(51:16) I love, I love making people, uh, feel great in what they were wearing and just like, it's, it's like art. (51:23) It's like you create a piece of art on a human being, you know, it's just fun. (51:28) And now what I get to do is I blend both worlds, right?
(51:32) So there are my guys sometimes who need help. (51:35) Like right now I have a client, a man in Houston that I'm working with and I'm thinking I was gonna, I was trying to find stylists for him in Houston, but I haven't had any luck. (51:45) So if anybody's out there, but, uh, but I may fly, have him fly into LA and then I may resurrect my stylist skills and take him shopping.
(51:52) And I do that for clients sometimes. (51:54) Um, and then make sure that they have the look because, and in fact, one of my clients was in Florida, um, hit the style he had in the pictures. (52:03) I wasn't getting the yes from the ladies, but then I fixed his style, even remotely.
(52:09) I just told him what to buy and got him a photographer and now his pictures will never get a no to the ladies. (52:15) And it's just style is such an easy fix. (52:18) It's an easy fix and it's a game changer for people.
(52:21) So I get to do it with my ladies who are working with me in coaching and it's a game changer for them. (52:26) And I get to do it. (52:27) So I combined both worlds.
(52:29) Now I still get to do a little bit of my styling, uh, when need be.
Julian Hayes II
(52:34) So when it comes to styling, cause that's a very important thing. (52:36) And I, I, I guess the way I went about finding my style was not only just what I feel comfortable in, but also what I thought really matched, matches my personality and, and the, and kind of the image I wanted to convey to the world. (52:48) Do you think that approach is tip is, is a pretty decent approach to how you go about that with styling?
Gina Hendrix
(52:54) Yeah, I think so. (52:55) I think you also have to kind of get clear on the type of person you're trying to attract as well. (53:02) So for example, uh, my guy in Houston, he is, uh, very successful.
(53:08) Um, he, but he's also Buddhist and he's vegan and he's not going to be, you know, I have all different kinds of guys. (53:15) He's not the guy that's going to get on a private plane and jet set around the world. (53:19) He's more about being philanthropic and he loves to go, he would love to go to Sedona to a meditation retreat.
(53:25) Okay. (53:25) But when it comes to his own personal style, he's like in these like fancy custom sport coats with a little, you know, the little pocket scarf and any, and that doesn't translate to trying to call in the women we want to call in. (53:38) Do you see what I'm saying?
(53:39) That look is going to call in the women who want to jet set around the world, who want to eat at the Michelin star restaurants. (53:45) And that's, that's, so it's not an accurate representation. (53:48) So I'm right now trying to revamp his style so that it looks sophisticated certainly and, and, and matches him, but also in a way that also is going to call in the type of women that he wants to meet.
(54:03) So you have to get clear on the type of person you're trying to call in and then have that style reflect that.
Julian Hayes II
(54:10) Absolutely makes sense. (54:11) And one other thing you mentioned philanthropic work is the Models and Mutts, which I like the name, by the way. (54:17) And so what was the inspiration behind that?
(54:20) When did that moment come?
Gina Hendrix
(54:21) Yeah. (54:22) And I need to do, I need to do more COVID kind of, I haven't, we haven't done much with it. (54:26) I do a lot of stuff privately, but I haven't done anything with Models and Mutts lately since COVID, but essentially I had a radio show.
(54:34) I've had a couple. (54:35) I had one when I first started my matchmaking, I had a radio show and I would interview relationship experts and things. (54:41) And then I ended up, I took a break because for me it was a lot.
(54:45) And I had to focus on the business. (54:46) Then I came back and I did a show called Beyond Beautiful. (54:49) And the angle was beautiful, interesting women.
(54:52) And so I would interview these beautiful women. (54:54) And usually we always ended up talking about animals and rescuing animals. (54:57) And so I thought to myself, how can I put these beautiful women to work to help save some animals?
(55:03) And that is how Models and Mutts was born. (55:05) And so I, I then ended up taking models and getting a photographer and we would go to very high kill animal shelters. (55:13) And these women have like a lot of followers on Instagram, so they have a lot of eyeballs.
(55:18) And so we would take dogs, sometimes cats, sometimes rabbits, and we would do these photo shoots at the shelters with animals that were being redlisted because right now shelters are overcrowded. (55:31) We really actually now you may have just fired me up again to do it because it's, it's terrible at shelters now since COVID they're overcrowded. (55:40) And so we would just try to raise awareness.
(55:42) Oh yeah. (55:42) If a dog goes to a shelter these days, they're almost always euthanized because there's just no room. (55:49) There's just no, yeah, that's the reality.
(55:51) People don't realize that, but shelters are overcrowded. (55:53) There's literally no space for them. (55:55) So if they go to a shelter and a shelter is very different than a rescue, right?
(55:59) When they're at rescue, they've been pulled from a shelter usually. (56:01) So a rescue, they still need to be adopted for rescue so that the rescues can go back to the shelters, but people need to go down to the shelters because that's where the need is. (56:10) A dog goes to the I think he's got a whole, a hold of like five to seven days and then that dog is euthanized and that is it.
(56:17) So I would bring the model. (56:19) It was sad. (56:19) We'd go down there and it was like sad, but, but it was a need that had to happen.
(56:24) And so, you know, the women would then post their photos on their Instagram and, uh, and try to try to get these dogs and cats and rabbits and everything and adopted because that's where the need is. (56:36) That's where the need go to the shelters.
Julian Hayes II
(56:39) Wow. (56:40) I didn't know all that. (56:41) And so I'm glad you brought that up.
Gina Hendrix
(56:43) I'm glad you brought that up. (56:45) Nobody has brought that up to me and I am so glad you did. (56:48) Thank you.
Julian Hayes II
(56:48) Well, well, I'm, I'm glad to hear that. (56:50) Um, I guess that shows I did my homework a little bit.
Gina Hendrix
(56:53) You did. (56:54) I love that. (56:55) Thank you so much.
(56:56) And I personally have five dogs and three cats. (56:59) So when people think they don't have room or the time or anything, it's like you can make anything work if you want to.
Julian Hayes II
(57:06) Yeah. (57:06) And so the last question here is if, uh, if a guy comes up to you and he's like, Gina, I'm trying to revamp my love life, revamp and put myself in a better position to find a meaningful relationship. (57:18) What are three things that I can do today to start putting myself on a more positive trajectory of accomplishing those things?
(57:25) What would you tell them?
Gina Hendrix
(57:26) Oh man, that's a big question. (57:28) Uh, I would say, I would say, make sure that you're in the right mindset that you, you do feel like you're truly available to make the time and space for somebody. (57:38) Because I think there's a lot of people that go through the world and they, they say they're, they're single, but they don't really, they're not maybe really available.
(57:46) So I think you have to be fully available. (57:48) Are you willing to make the time you're willing to make the effort? (57:51) And then also be open-minded.
(57:53) So there's that. (57:54) And then if you are open-minded, you should be willing to go down all roads. (57:58) So I can understand wanting to meet them in the real world, but do not skip the dating apps.
(58:04) You really should be on the dating apps. (58:06) And then if you are on the dating apps, you should, and then I'm going to save my best tip for last year. (58:11) Um, and if you are on the dating apps, you got to make sure that your pictures are great.
(58:14) You can't have haphazard, low level pictures. (58:17) You have to think about it like as a marketing campaign for your dating and be very intentional, not have any other guys in the photos, not have sunglasses or look low level. (58:26) If you look low level, you're going to call in low level ladies.
(58:29) If you want high level, you got to at least put like a collared shirt on, put a little more effort into it. (58:34) You know what I mean? (58:35) And then last but not least a tip for guys that, that they really skip is that when it comes to singles events, so many great guys usually will not touch that with a 10 foot pole.
(58:45) But the secret here is that great women go to those events. (58:49) So great women go to any kind of singles event and what happens is it's only guys that they don't want to meet that go. (58:57) But if a guy is like an amazing guy and he showed up to these things, he would be cleaning up with the best ladies.
Julian Hayes II
(59:03) Ooh, I like that. (59:04) So guys out there, that's a huge tip right there. (59:07) Go, go, go, go to those types of things.
Gina Hendrix
(59:09) I think it's cool to go to singles events because great phenomenal women are open minded and hopeful and they're going, they're going and there's just hardly any good men that ever go.
Julian Hayes II
(59:20) Oh, see, that's more incentive to get out there, go to these things. (59:25) Gina, this has been a very, very interesting and fun conversation. (59:29) I really had a blast talking to you.
(59:31) Where can listeners keep up with you and everything?
Gina Hendrix
(59:35) So they can go to my website, GinaHendrix.com. (59:39) It's like Jimi Hendrix, but GinaHendrix.com. (59:41) You can learn all about me.
(59:43) And then on social media, it's Matchmaker Gina Hendrix. (59:46) That's on Instagram and that's on TikTok.
Julian Hayes II
(59:49) Awesome. (59:50) Okay. (59:50) I will have that in the show.
Gina Hendrix
(59:51) And YouTube.
Julian Hayes II
(59:52) Yes, YouTube. (59:53) You have a YouTube channel because that's where I checked out some of your videos. (59:56) Thank you.
(59:57) So listeners out there, stay awesome, be limitless and as always, go be the CEO of your health and life. (1:00:03) Peace.
