How to Become the Person Who Has the Life You Want Today and Feeling Forwards with Elizabeth Gould
In the latest episode of our podcast, we had the privilege of speaking with Elizabeth Gould, an accomplished author, speaker, and expert in performance excellence. Elizabeth’s journey and expertise offer invaluable lessons on how to become the person who has the life you want today. Whether you're an entrepreneur striving for growth or someone looking to realign your goals, this conversation is filled with actionable insights and thought-provoking ideas.
Watch This Conversation
The Power of Reframing Success
One of the critical themes Elizabeth discusses is the importance of reframing success. We often set rigid goals and beat ourselves up when we don’t achieve them precisely as planned. Instead, Elizabeth encourages us to think about "aims" rather than goals. Aims are broader and more flexible, allowing us to adapt and grow as we progress.
For instance, if your goal is to achieve a particular position in your career, but you struggle, it might be time to step back and ask, “Why do I want this? What is the deeper aim behind this goal?” By reframing, you might discover that the essence of your goal can be achieved in different, perhaps more fulfilling ways.
Resilience: A Core Ingredient for Success
Elizabeth’s life story is a testament to the power of resilience. From surviving a devastating car accident to protecting her children during a home invasion and even battling cancer, her journey has been anything but easy. Yet, through these challenges, she has realized that anything is possible. This belief was rooted in a childhood experience where she questioned why her father believed he would never be able to afford a luxury car—that moment sparked a lifelong fascination with the idea that we often limit ourselves by our own beliefs.
This resilience is about bouncing back from setbacks and maintaining the belief that you can achieve great things, even when the odds seem stacked against you. It’s a mindset that says, “Why not me?” instead of “Why me?”
The Four Cs: Clarity, Certainty, Consistency, and Celebration
Elizabeth’s “Four Cs” framework offers a practical approach to achieving success:
Clarity: Knowing precisely what you want is the first step. Without clarity, it’s easy to get lost or distracted.
Certainty: This involves having confidence in your ability to achieve your aims. Certainty doesn’t mean you know all the answers, but you trust that you will figure things out along the way.
Consistency: Small, consistent actions lead to significant results. Elizabeth emphasizes the importance of sticking to your path, even when progress seems slow.
Celebration: Often overlooked, celebrating small wins is crucial. It keeps you motivated and reminds you how far you’ve come.
Overcoming Limiting Beliefs
A significant part of becoming the person you want to be involves overcoming the limiting beliefs that hold you back. Elizabeth talks about how our brains are wired to keep us safe, which often means sticking to what we know and avoiding risks. However, this can prevent us from achieving our true potential.
To overcome these limiting beliefs, Elizabeth suggests identifying and unpacking your fears. Ask yourself, “What am I really afraid of?” Often, once you bring these fears into the light, you realize they’re not as insurmountable as you thought. She also highlights the importance of imagination—using it to dream, visualize, and feel your way into the future you want.
The Importance of Alignment
Elizabeth emphasizes the importance of alignment in achieving success. Alignment means ensuring that your daily actions reflect the future you desire. It’s about living as if you are already the person you want to become. This concept aligns with the idea of “bending time,” where you bring your long-term goals into the present by taking actions today that align with where you want to be in the future.
For example, if your five-year plan includes running a successful business with a large team, ask yourself, “What decisions would I have made to get there?” Start making those decisions now, even if they seem premature. This forward-thinking helps you achieve your goals faster and ensures that you are always moving in the right direction.
Surrounding Yourself with the Right People
Another powerful lesson from Elizabeth’s story is the importance of your environment. She shares that during her cancer recovery, she was ruthless about surrounding herself with “heaters” (people who uplift and energize) rather than “drainers” (those who deplete your energy). This principle applies to all areas of life—your success is heavily influenced by the people you allow into your inner circle.
Choosing Happiness
One of Elizabeth's most profound insights comes from her work with children. Despite facing significant challenges, she interviewed happy and well-adjusted children. The common thread among these children was their choice to be happy. As one young girl put it, “I’ve chosen to be happy.”
This simple yet powerful concept reminds us that happiness is a choice. It’s not about waiting for the perfect conditions or the right moment; it’s about deciding to be happy right now, regardless of circumstances.
Conclusion: Start Living the Life You Want Today
Elizabeth Gould’s insights provide a roadmap for anyone looking to transform their life. By reframing your goals, overcoming limiting beliefs, aligning your actions with your future self, and surrounding yourself with the right people, you can start living the life you want today. Remember, success is not just about what you achieve but how you feel about what you’re doing. So take the time to celebrate your progress, no matter how small, and keep moving forward with clarity, certainty, consistency, and celebration.
Connect with Elizabeth Gould
Website: https://elizabethgould.com/
Book: https://elizabethgould.com/book
LinkedIn: https://au.linkedin.com/in/elizabeth-gould-747618151
Transcript
Julian Hayes II
(0:03) Welcome to another episode of Executive Health and Life. (0:06) I'm your host, Julian Hazel Second, back at it again with, as I always say, another fascinating guest. (0:11) Today we're talking about how to become the person who has the life that you truly want.
(0:17) With that said, I was doing some research, getting ready for this episode, and I saw a simple statement and it really stopped me in my tracks. (0:24) She said, do you want to be successful or feel successful or both? (0:29) Now, we will all naturally say both, but how many of us actually feel that way?
(0:34) And if we don't have both, then why don't we have those things right now? (0:38) And it's not because we need to work harder. (0:40) It's much deeper than that.
(0:42) And my guest, Elizabeth Gould, is an expert with a contrarian spirit who specializes in helping high performers elevate to the next level, and most importantly, staying there. (0:53) She has hundreds of media appearances, has delivered tons of keynote speeches, is the host of the Exhausted to Empowered Entrepreneur Show lectures at a postgraduate level at the Swinburne University Business School, is a PhD candidate focusing on the field of performance excellence demonstrated by elite athletes that's contrasting with the neuropsychology of emerging entrepreneurs. (1:17) So she's a pretty busy lady.
(1:19) And lastly, she has multiple books, including the recent one that's endorsed by Tony Robbins called Feeling Forward. (1:25) So without further ado, I'm here with the one, the only Elizabeth. (1:30) How are you doing today?
Elizabeth Gould
(1:32) Oh, I'm awesome, Julian. (1:33) It's lovely to see you. (1:34) I've been really excited about coming on the show.
Julian Hayes II
(1:36) Yes, I'm very excited about this conversation. (1:38) I got even more excited as I started to read more about what you do and everything. (1:42) And I'm, you know, your newest book, at the very beginning, it just caught me.
(1:47) I'm like, wow, she went through all that? (1:48) I had no idea. (1:49) So I was reading up, changed successfully to top careers about six times, several businesses, devastating car wreck, a home invasion where you got injured protecting your kids, survived cancer, dealt with marriage, home life.
(2:05) And so if we travel back to the past, where does this resiliency come from? (2:10) Or did you have to, or did you develop this later in life?
Elizabeth Gould
(2:13) Oh, I love that question because I was actually exploring that for my doctorate, for my essay, because there's some recent research out that entrepreneurs can really, you can trace a child from even around the age of seven as to whether or not they are likely to be entrepreneurs in later life. (2:33) And I look back to when I was seven and there was a seminal moment, and I haven't never spoken about this in an interview before, Julie, but it was such a great question. (2:44) I came from a family, I'm the first person in my family to go to university or go to college, as you would say in the States.
(2:51) My parents were English migrants who worked incredibly hard and had very little growing up themselves. (2:58) And I remember a moment when I was around seven, when a friend of my father's came over to show off his very beautiful, shiny new Jaguar, which is a British car, a luxury car. (3:11) And we were all crowded around and admiring this car.
(3:15) And I could see my father was very taken with it. (3:18) And I said to him later, did you like the car, Daddy? (3:21) And he said, oh yeah, it's amazing, beautiful, blah, blah.
(3:24) So I translated that in my mind as children do into something quite different. (3:28) So when I saw the next group of friends again, I announced what I thought was a very interesting form of conversation. (3:37) I said, oh, Daddy's going to buy a Jaguar.
(3:40) And there was laughter and guffawing, and I sensed that maybe this wasn't quite what I'd intended. (3:48) And the conversation was smoothed over and I probably went and did something childish, like as children do, wanted off to do something else. (3:56) And then later my father took me aside and he was not happy.
(3:59) And he said, I don't know why you said that. (4:02) I will never be able to have a Jaguar. (4:05) And I remember being very confused at the time.
(4:08) It's such a clear memory. (4:10) And my confusion was, but how do you know for sure? (4:14) How can you know that you'll never have this beautiful car, which I knew you wanted?
(4:20) How do you know that will never happen? (4:22) And so really it was that moment, well, at that point in time, and obviously it ebbed and flowed and I had all these catastrophes happen to me, but how do you know that something isn't going to happen that's truly magical? (4:37) How can you know for sure that you will never become who you dream about?
(4:42) So it was really that moment when the fascination started or I was very, I'm tired, Julia.
Julian Hayes II
(4:52) And I can hear and I can see that go two ways. (4:56) I can see with a lot of kids when they are encountered with that kind of spirit throughout the rest of their adulthood, they're just always practical, pragmatic, just being realistic. (5:07) And it's almost like they've had that glass ceiling placed on them without even realizing it.
(5:12) So what do you think the deal is? (5:16) Is it exposure or something that helps someone break free of that? (5:19) Of like, we all can have that type of background.
(5:21) So obviously with you, you heard that and you thought, why couldn't you? (5:26) Whereas some people would be like, well, I guess I can't. (5:29) So what do you think is that separating thing?
Elizabeth Gould
(5:32) Look, I think there's a lot of things. (5:34) I think it's nature or nurture. (5:36) I think sometimes we stumble across and this is, I know you love neuroscience as much as I do, but what I did without knowing it was I turned on a part of my brain called the reticular activating system or the RAS, which sounds much more fun and cool.
(5:54) I turned on the RAS, which is really your filtering system. (5:57) So from that moment on, because I had that thought, I was looking at, well, why can't you do amazing things and why shouldn't it happen? (6:07) And really, I mean, even when I reached out to Tony to ask him about the book, why on earth would I be, I think there's only two books he's ever endorsed.
(6:19) Why would I think he would ever do that for someone, we know each other, but very appropriately. (6:26) But then I thought, why not? (6:27) So I think I also had the benefit of, and I know a lot of people suffer from imposter syndrome and comparisonitis.
(6:35) I was in a lucky situation, which also has a flip side of being from a migrant family. (6:40) So I didn't have a huge number of relatives around me. (6:44) I didn't have someone saying, why don't you be a doctor like Uncle Lin or why don't you be a teacher like Auntie Pat?
(6:52) I didn't have any of that. (6:54) So I think I became a very watchful child because I was also very conscious. (7:00) Being from a migrant family, I used to feel a little bit like I was outside a shop with a glass front and I was always peering, looking in because I knew I didn't have the social connections.
(7:13) There wasn't, my parents never asked anyone for help. (7:17) They created businesses, they worked incredibly hard but it was very much okay. (7:21) I have to work out how everyone else is doing this thing called life and success so I can find the rules because I don't have anyone in my immediate vicinity to show me.
(7:32) And that actually started my connection with sport because I started playing the violin from when I was nine and that progressed very quickly. (7:41) And soon I was going in competitions. (7:44) I didn't get any pocket money but I was allowed to keep the money I won from violin competitions.
(7:51) So that was a great incentive and I loved it anyway. (7:55) So I became this person who had a childhood very different from my friends and getting up on stage and playing from memory is really challenging. (8:09) And you know, particularly with the violin, if it's notes out of tune or you miss something, that's what everyone tends to remember, you know, the dodgy bit in the middle.
(8:18) And I came across a newspaper article where they were talking about how Bjorn Borg packed his tennis bag before a big match. (8:27) And I found it fascinating. (8:29) I think by that time, I was 12 or 13.
(8:32) And I thought, oh, so he develops confidence and certainty from how he packs his tennis bag. (8:38) And he had a routine and never deviated and he had to have four pair of socks and whatever. (8:43) So I thought, oh, okay, well, can I create that same sense of certainty when I'm performing by how I pack my violin case and the things I do in order?
(8:53) So again, once you turn your attention onto something, you see more and more things and more and more information about performance and sport. (9:02) And so that started my journey at the very early days. (9:06) I started being fascinated by that as well.
Julian Hayes II
(9:10) Yeah, and so I'm curious in terms of your career right now. (9:14) And from what I read, it was you were involved in the legal world for a little bit, C-suite executive recruiting as well. (9:22) And I think management consulting were some of the ones I saw.
(9:24) And so I'm curious out of doing those, what kind of led you each time to leaving one for the other? (9:31) And then ultimately, I'm curious, how'd you land into what you're doing right now?
Elizabeth Gould
(9:36) Yes, well, I do have a bit of a shiny new toy syndrome, which we do talk about with regard to entrepreneurs. (9:44) And every time I felt like I was getting stuck in my career or what I could look ahead and think, gosh, I could be doing this for the next 20 years, which to me was a horrifying prospect because it meant I wasn't growing. (9:56) And somewhere along the way, I'd hardwired myself when it comes to change to think, oh, how hard can it be?
(10:04) Now, that doesn't always work as it turned out when I took my husband for a surprise weekend for an anniversary, and I booked a horse riding class, and I'd been riding once like 20 years before, and I thought, oh, how hard could it be? (10:18) And that had to be abandoned. (10:19) And my husband said, I did hear you screaming on the horse.
(10:22) So sometimes I come unstuck. (10:24) But every time I look for a new career or a new direction, I thought, oh, wow, this looks really interesting. (10:29) I think I've got some skills I can bring and how hard can it be?
(10:32) And I figured I'd work it out when I got there. (10:36) Where I've become very passionate, and I love how all of us can look back through different decisions we've made, at the time were quite small and insignificant, but then you look back five, 10 years later and think that was actually a really important fork in the road for me. (10:52) I'm passionate now about helping entrepreneurs that have really got to the three to seven year stage and they're floundering.
(11:04) And I'm very passionate about entrepreneurs having a contribution that changes the world. (11:09) And if we lose that floundering entrepreneur who usually gives up, it's never a lack of resources. (11:15) It's only ever a lack of resourcefulness or they physically and emotionally just can't keep going.
(11:22) I love that all of my different backgrounds and having that understanding of the business world as well has led me to this point where I can, for me, pay it forward all the support I've been given and help someone to keep going that otherwise may have floundered or stopped and then we've lost their contribution.
Julian Hayes II
(11:42) And speaking of that, I think this is a great point to kind of transition into this. (11:47) In all of these things, you're essentially you're reinventing yourself. (11:50) And I always like to say that it's never too late to reinvent yourself.
(11:54) And the best time to start reinventing yourself is right now, because it starts with the decision. (11:59) So with that said, what would you say are some signs and things to typically look out for when we're kind of feeling stuck and need what essentially is called a life reset?
Elizabeth Gould
(12:13) Yes. (12:14) I talk a lot about whether or not, I talk about aims instead of goals because aims are so much broader and can be a lot more flexible. (12:24) I had an example where someone asked me to chat to their teenager because they'd been desperate to get into medical school and they hadn't made it and they were devastated.
(12:35) And she was very worried for her child's emotional health. (12:39) And I had a chat with them and I said, well, how about we reframe this goal into an aim? (12:43) So why did you want to go to medical school?
(12:46) Did you want to study something and cure cancer? (12:49) Did you want to heal people? (12:51) Did you want to interact with people all day?
(12:54) We boiled it down and really we found out there was an alternative path, that they really were less, they weren't focused by the status or the money that came with being a doctor, which is great if that motivates you, fine. (13:07) They really wanted to be more of a healer. (13:09) So we looked at all these alternative paths where they could go into an equally, well, a highly prestigious role that was more focused on healing, but didn't necessarily go to medical school.
(13:21) So I apply that kind of concept when I meet clients who are stuck and floundering and often exhausted. (13:30) And the question is, do we need to do a reset or do you need to do a reframe? (13:37) Now, a reset can be when you decide that you've been on the wrong path for years because your parents or society or someone else implied that it was a good idea to be an ex.
(13:48) And there's that joke that it's doctor, lawyer, engineer, or what else is there? (13:54) Or whether or not you just need to reframe what you're doing from a different perspective. (14:00) And that often can be a tweak in terms of how you see yourself in your role or in your business.
(14:07) So another example is a lot of entrepreneurs, successful entrepreneurs, they move from that phase of being in the business, knowing every single task that has to occur for their product or service to get out, being involved in every single decision. (14:23) And then obviously once you get to a certain number of employees or revenue or both, you have to go to a higher level. (14:29) You have to be on the business.
(14:31) And all of a sudden they feel like they're not needed. (14:34) They're not important. (14:35) They feel a little lost and it's like, okay, yes, you could go off and start a whole new business and get that adrenaline rush and that buzz and everything else that you get when you're in the weeds.
(14:47) Or we can look at a reframe. (14:49) Okay, you never imagined you'd be in this role because most entrepreneurs just imagine getting off the ground very vividly. (14:57) They don't visualize, well, what is it gonna be like to be a CEO?
(15:01) So we do a bit of reframing around that. (15:04) Okay, well, what is important about your role now? (15:07) How can you grow now?
(15:09) And if it doesn't work for you, sure, you can go off and start a new business and replicate all that excitement, that's fine. (15:15) But sometimes we can reframe the context of our success and what it means to be successful. (15:22) If you've got, if you thought it would be successful to have a Ferrari, fantastic.
(15:27) But once you get the Ferrari, then you may find there's a shift. (15:30) So you have to reframe that and then always keep moving forwards.
Julian Hayes II
(15:35) Oh, that's a very important point right there. (15:37) And it's something that I've experienced a few times on, not the Ferrari yet. (15:41) I'm a Ferrari guy, so I- Yeah, I love you said yet.
(15:44) Yeah, yeah. (15:45) Most definitely have pictures in my head of the Ferrari. (15:50) So, but I think I felt this at times when you hit certain goals, whether it's, for me, I wanted to write for a major publication and you got there and there's this feeling for a little bit and then it's fleeting and then it's on to the next thing.
(16:06) And I think that's the case with a lot of entrepreneurs. (16:08) And sometimes I think that can kind of stop us from kind of going back to what we said at the beginning where for all intents and purposes on the quote unquote surface, you're deemed a success but you don't feel that thing yet because you're always changing and moving the goalposts. (16:27) So when you get in that situation, how do you help someone navigate?
Elizabeth Gould
(16:32) I have four Cs. (16:34) So my success maximizer method, which draws on all my work in quantum science and writing. (16:39) I talk about the four Cs, which is clarity, certainty, consistency, and celebration.
(16:45) And I always say to ask entrepreneurs what's the most important. (16:49) They never say celebration. (16:51) Celebration is more important, you know?
(16:53) And it's like, you can work for years and years to reach a milestone in your business and you might go out to dinner or, you know, you might buy yourself a watch or whatever. (17:03) And then you think you have the next thing. (17:06) I'm playing around with a concept at the moment of developing a toddler brain.
(17:12) And if you look at toddlers, yes, they're in the moment, but what toddlers, when we're speaking to toddlers and when they're achieving things, everything's a wow. (17:23) Everything's fantastic. (17:25) They do an absolutely, you know, a drawing with two blotches and a line.
(17:28) We go, wow, that's amazing. (17:31) So I've been doing a technique with myself and a few of my clients of having a toddler brain throughout the day. (17:39) I got three things done before lunch.
(17:41) That is fantastic. (17:43) And it just completely rewires your dopamine. (17:48) It doesn't make you complacent.
(17:50) A lot of people think if they really take time to reflect on how far they've come that it will make them complacent or lazy. (17:59) Another flip side of this is I had a client come to me who I hadn't seen for a couple of years and they were stuck and they were really in despair. (18:08) They'd been promoted to run a division of, they'd sold their company to a much larger company than they were running a division and they were full of all the problems, all the wrong people, and they didn't have the right, you know, method in the business, blah, blah.
(18:21) And I said, okay, if I had said to you three years ago, tapped you on the shoulder and said, Mike, in three years time, you're going to be part of this huge company and you're going to be running a division and you're going to have this team and you're going to have this revenue. (18:38) Would you have been excited? (18:39) They went, yeah, yeah, I would have been actually.
(18:42) I would have been really stoked. (18:44) And I said, and would you have said to me, well, is it going to be perfect? (18:49) Because if it's not perfect, I don't want it.
(18:51) Would you have said that? (18:52) And I said, well, no. (18:54) So we forget so often, we get so caught up in the minutia and the brain loves to keep us stuck and safe.
(19:01) We get so caught up in the minutia of the day, we stop to have almost a toddler moment and say, wow, I've got all these problems because I've achieved this and I've got that. (19:12) And I've now got these responsibilities because I'm serving so many people. (19:16) This is actually kind of freaking cool.
(19:19) So if anyone would like to take any part of this toddler brain moment, but think to where you are now. (19:24) I think if someone had tapped you on the shoulder five or 10 years time and said, you're going to be living in this house and you're going to be doing this and you're going to be having that, you would have been delighted.
Julian Hayes II
(19:33) Yeah, yeah, absolutely. (19:35) It's a very interesting thing. (19:39) Do you think that sometimes entrepreneurs and maybe even people in general can get so used to just being addicted to a certain feeling?
(19:49) Like I always need to feel crappy because that's when I do better work. (19:54) So like sometimes I said that I have trouble just being happy and in the moment because I'm always thinking about what needs to improve, what I could have done better and that kind of stuff.
Elizabeth Gould
(20:06) Yeah, and that thinking and that neural pathway is actually quite addictive. (20:11) It's very hard to shift your thoughts. (20:13) Once you get into a really deep pattern, it's hard to shift your thoughts.
(20:16) I was actually listening to another show and the host was sharing, asking for help, saying, when I go away and travel, I'm a health freak, but it gets to a certain point, like at 11 o'clock at night. (20:29) And I order something sweet and sugary and bad for me for room service and then I eat it and I feel terrible. (20:39) How can I stop that?
(20:40) Because I'm so disciplined in every other area of my life and they got a certain piece of advice. (20:45) And I thought, no, you're not addicted to getting the sugary dessert at 11 o'clock in a hotel. (20:52) You're addicted to the sense of renewed motivation and resolution that you're never gonna do it again, because that's the bit that gives you a rush.
(21:02) That's the bit of thinking, as entrepreneurs and business people and high performers, we're all A-type personalities. (21:09) We'd love to think we're moving forward. (21:11) So that's why you're doing that kind of behavior.
(21:15) So because your brain loves doing the same thing over and over again, it's very comfortable. (21:20) You really do need to use the power of imagination, which involves emotion. (21:24) Emotion will always overcome logic.
(21:28) And New Year's resolutions are a fantastic example of that. (21:32) There's a really cool study that did it through tracking on the internet that by the 19th of January, 850 million people have abandoned their New Year's resolution. (21:44) And generally it's because, I know it's such a cool stat, but generally it's because they never associated emotion with the new habit or the new manner of behavior.
(21:56) You've gotta get, you can't, what, put on your track suit and go for a run because you know you really, really should work out more, right? (22:02) We know we should work out more, worry about our sleep, watch our diet, brush our teeth. (22:06) We all know this stuff.
(22:08) There's nothing new in a fantastic morning routine that we haven't heard pretty much before. (22:14) But it's associating the emotion with it so it hardwires and sticks, because we get into bad habits because they feel good, right? (22:20) So you gotta make a good habit feel better.
Julian Hayes II
(22:24) Yeah. (22:24) And I wonder also in terms of like why we don't change even though we know we should, is that sometimes maybe we at least know if we don't change what that's gonna look like. (22:34) And then sometimes this perception of what it looks like if we don't change is gonna be something that may be more painful or more uncomfortable.
(22:41) But even before that, you mentioned imagination. (22:44) And I remember as I was reading up stuff on you, you mentioned something about a flabby imagination. (22:49) And I was curious, what do you mean by flabby imagination?
(22:53) And how do we know if we have one?
Elizabeth Gould
(22:57) Look, I think nearly everyone's imagination is flabby pretty much because our brain likes it the way it is. (23:03) And when I say flabby imagination, it's imagining what you do want. (23:07) There's a really lovely concept that we actually imagine all day long.
(23:12) We tend to think that imagination is the good stuff that we imagine falling in love or we imagine our next holiday or we imagine what it's gonna feel like when you have tons and tons of money. (23:24) But for the rest of the day, we are imagining constantly in completely the wrong way. (23:31) Well, if I, let's say for example, a lot of my clients are trying to drink less to increase their performance, drink alcohol less.
(23:40) And they worry about if they've got a social event on a Saturday, they spend all week thinking about, well, how am I gonna present myself? (23:50) And what if someone says, oh, why aren't you drinking? (23:52) Just have one glass, what's wrong with you anyway?
(23:54) So they focus on all of this leading up to the event. (23:59) They're actually imagining all of the worst possible scenarios. (24:04) They're worrying.
(24:05) Another way is saying, well, worrying is praying for what you don't want. (24:09) So they're actually creating incredibly strong neural pathways, focusing on everything that can go wrong and that I'm perhaps not on the right track anyway. (24:17) Instead of, if they spent even at least half the amount of time imagining the other scenario, they would leave all of that negative stuff behind.
(24:29) We think so fleetingly about ourselves in the future. (24:34) And I have a process I talk about in the book Feeling Forwards to My Cause, which is there's actually 17 different aspects of your life. (24:41) If you want to create your future, as I say, today is the past of your future.
(24:46) If you want to create yourself in your future, you have to really do a deep dive. (24:51) So if I asked you, Julian, so what do you, just a sample of questions, what do you eat regularly for breakfast? (24:59) What time do you get up?
(25:00) What do you look at on the news? (25:02) What do you read? (25:04) What's your favorite relaxation, socials, whatever.
(25:07) You would be able to tell me absolutely everything you do. (25:11) But if I asked you as the future you want to enjoy, so let's leap five years into the future and you've achieved everything you wanted to have more, what would you be reading then? (25:23) What would you be having for breakfast?
(25:25) What time would you be getting up? (25:26) Who would you be surrounding yourself with? (25:28) That's when it starts to get really, really fuzzy.
(25:31) So if we can imagine all of that and then start to live in it today, I was at a, you know, I love coming to the States. (25:40) I haven't been so far this year, but I was having a lunch in Santa Barbara and sitting next to someone and he asked me to explain Feeling Forward and how quantum science fits in. (25:49) And I said, well, let's take you in your business.
(25:52) Do you have a five year business plan? (25:54) And he looked slightly affronted and said, well, of course I've got a five year business plan. (25:58) I said, great, I thought you would.
(26:00) How much of that could you do today? (26:03) And he went, oh, and I could see the paradigm shift, but it's on the five year plan, so why would I do it today to, well, actually, he said, there's three things I could do this week that are on the five year business plan. (26:18) I said, okay, you've just used quantum, you've used Feeling Forwards, that's how today is the path of your future.
Julian Hayes II
(26:26) Huh, okay. (26:29) So, okay, with that though, I think sometimes I'll be a devil's advocate here. (26:34) So I understand what you're saying, right?
(26:38) Of thinking five, I'm gonna think five years ahead. (26:39) What would the Julian do five years from now and start doing that today? (26:45) But what if I, none of those things in my physical 3D reality are even remotely close to that right now?
(26:54) How exactly then am I supposed to, say, five years from now, I got 15 employees and I'm traveling, a Ferrari, I'm traveling certain types of ways. (27:07) I have a wife, I have two or three kids and all these things, right? (27:10) How am I bringing that back into five years now in present day?
(27:16) How am I doing that?
Elizabeth Gould
(27:18) Yeah, I'll give you an example two ways. (27:20) Firstly, I'll give you kind of the linear business answer, which is, if you put yourself in that position, what are the key decisions you would have made now to get to that point? (27:35) And we can all, there's some low hanging fruit we can think of instantly.
(27:38) I wouldn't be spending so much time worrying about X. (27:42) I would finally let go of that part of my business that hasn't been profitable for the last three years. (27:49) And in my heart, I know it probably never will be, but I just have to take action, rip off the bandaid and just shut it down.
(27:56) So you can go through that in a fairly linear way. (27:59) And the more you dive into it, when I mentioned our friend the Raz earlier, as soon as you turn that filter on in your brain, you will see so many possibilities. (28:09) It's like when, we've joked about the red Ferrari, but every time you wanna buy a new car, you think about the make and the model and the color.
(28:18) And as soon as you've decided those three things, you see them on the road everywhere.
Julian Hayes II
(28:22) All the time. (28:23) I've been doing it recently. (28:25) I've been seeing it recently.
(28:26) I see it, the truck everywhere.
Elizabeth Gould
(28:28) Yeah, and that's because you've turned on your Raz. (28:30) And that's exactly what happens when you have that really clear picture. (28:35) And this is where the intersection, you ask such good questions.
(28:37) This is where the intersection between elite athletes and entrepreneurs comes in. (28:42) So let's say I come up to your house and you have a friend visiting who's say 16, 17. (28:49) And I say, oh, how's it going?
(28:50) What are you doing? (28:51) What are you planning on doing? (28:52) And they say, oh, I'm gonna be a professional athlete.
(28:55) I go, cool. (28:56) So what's your sport? (28:58) And they say, oh, I haven't decided yet.
(29:00) I'm just gonna wait until I win a few races or something. (29:04) And then I might decide and get a coach and then I might start training. (29:09) And you think, never gonna happen.
(29:12) What an athlete does, what a champion does is from a very early age, they train, eat, sleep, and most importantly, believe they're a champion. (29:23) Tom Brady, 199th pick in the draft. (29:27) Do you know what the first thing he said to his manager when he met him, his new manager?
(29:32) He said, I'm the best decision you've ever made. (29:35) He didn't say, he didn't have the mindset of, well, I've got to work really hard and be better than the 198 that came before me because he'd got it right. (29:45) He was already living in his future.
(29:49) So entrepreneurs come to me and they have what they call success backwards. (29:55) So they're eating pizza, they're not healthy. (29:58) I mean, you see these guys as well, Julian, and girls.
(30:01) Their relationships are messed, but they have this nirvana. (30:04) They say, well, when I become successful through this amount of money, my widget, my app, whatever, then I'm gonna be able to get my finances order and it's like, no, this is backwards. (30:16) You're like the 17 year old that said, I'll wait and win a few races and then I'll start to get really serious.
(30:22) You can't do it now, you're not gonna be able to do it then.
Julian Hayes II
(30:26) It makes sense. (30:27) It's almost like the adage of if you, people will wanna say just, I'm gonna start doing philanthropic work and all this stuff when I get to this certain point. (30:37) Well, what's stopping you right now for volunteering your time and all that, right?
(30:40) So what's, I'm gonna, I can't save. (30:43) Well, if you can't save a penny, how can you save 100,000? (30:46) And so, and I'm curious about that.
(30:49) I'm hearing this now because, and I'm thinking of myself now, this totally makes sense as I approach my health, that to get to this point that I'm at now, I had to start, but I also had that in mind that I was thinking about the whole time and I was taking in those habits to get to this point that I'm at now. (31:07) And so I'm wondering if the reason why there's a disconnect sometimes for people and a blockage, do you think it has to do with something like a self-esteem or self-worth or identity issues? (31:19) So, because sometimes someone's really thriving and really is doing this, what you're talking about in one area of life, but then when it comes to maybe like relationships or business, there's always like this self-sabotaging aspect, if that makes sense.
Elizabeth Gould
(31:34) Yes, and as I mentioned earlier, never underestimate the power of your brain to drag you back in what you did yesterday. (31:42) The routine habit part of our brain is in the oldest part of our brain. (31:47) It sits at the back and that's fight or flight, survival.
(31:51) And once you're in that part of your brain, you actually can't be creative because all your creativity is in the executive part of your brain that's at the front. (32:01) So what happens, our bodies are very binary. (32:04) We're either in one state or the other.
(32:06) It's like, you can't be a little bit positive. (32:09) Someone can come to me and be unbelievably negative about where they are and say, but I'm thinking positive. (32:14) And I'm like saying, okay, that's like having a cup of coffee and dropping just one drop of cyanide into the coffee and say, look, it's going to be okay.
(32:21) There's only one drop of cyanide. (32:23) No, no, no, you can only be one or the other. (32:26) So what happens?
(32:28) And I work a lot with entrepreneurs on this because when they get stressed, they're living in fight or flight the whole time. (32:34) And then they can't think and feel their way through their problems. (32:38) So when you get stressed and you know this so well, your blood goes to your extremities because you might have to run or fight.
(32:46) So you need the blood in your muscles and it goes to the back of your brain because we're only thinking of one thing now, which is survival. (32:54) It's like if you're watching a really sad movie, saying you're watching the notebook for the whatever time and you've got to the part and you're crying and someone else you live with walks in and tells you a joke. (33:05) It could be the funniest joke in the world.
(33:07) It's like, what, what? (33:09) So first of all, you need to move the blood to the front of your brain where you're creative and then the world of possibilities starts to open up. (33:19) But what will hold you back, particularly with your health is limiting beliefs.
(33:24) And it's very much a matter of dragging those limiting beliefs out into the open. (33:30) So I talk a lot in my work about fear. (33:32) So we drill down.
(33:33) So what is your fear that if you do become healthier, you do change your routine, you do get up earlier and it could be things like, your partner is not gonna appreciate it. (33:45) Your parents never worked out. (33:47) They might've said when you were younger, I'll look at that guy running.
(33:50) He looks really weird. (33:51) All of these things. (33:53) So once you work out what is your particular flavor of fear, then we redefine it, which is false evidence appearing real.
(34:01) Because with every limiting belief, with everything your brain wants to stick you, keep you stuck in because it's safe. (34:08) Once you unpack it, it's not real. (34:11) It's the old part of your brain wanting to keep you safe.
(34:15) Is your partner really gonna get upset when you get up in the morning? (34:18) You can negotiate that. (34:19) Are you really gonna look funny when you go for a run?
(34:21) Well, maybe you do, but you're not looking at yourself. (34:23) So it doesn't really matter. (34:25) It's reframing and shaping it.
(34:27) And then use the techniques I talked about earlier was having a really, really clear path forwards of what this is going to do for you in five years time. (34:38) If you don't improve your health, for example, is five years time Julian gonna have the energy to enjoy everything and do everything and achieve even more if you don't get rid of these limiting beliefs now?
Julian Hayes II
(34:52) Absolutely, absolutely. (34:53) That's a great point. (34:54) And I had things going through my head and I was thinking that maybe a lot of people, especially maybe at the entrepreneur level, those who have done a few things, but they're trying to get to the next level.
(35:06) And for whatever reason, they get progress and then they always resort back to like the median thing that they're used to. (35:13) Do you think that's more of a fear of success more so than a fear of failure at that point?
Elizabeth Gould
(35:19) Ooh, you know, the whole money thing, money, health, what you deserve. (35:25) I think that can be really tied up around that. (35:29) And I think any belief is a decision and every decision is a choice.
(35:35) And once you appreciate, I mean, as with that story we talked about right at the beginning of the podcast about owning a luxury car. (35:43) Once you start to make a choice in the direction that's gonna move you forward, you tend to find it cascades. (35:51) Having said that, the people you surround yourself with are going to heavily influence your ability to move beyond a limiting belief that may be stuck in your background.
(36:01) I remember once someone said to me, oh, I'm really envious of so-and-so because they still hang out with their five friends from college all the time. (36:13) And I said, well, why is that so attractive for you? (36:17) And they said, oh, it shows they're a really great friend.
(36:20) I said, yeah, it could also show they're really stuck. (36:23) We always have connections to our background. (36:26) We always have family traditions we love that we, you know, rituals and we know they're kind of loopy but they're also kind of cool.
(36:33) But to grow and move forward means you need to make different decisions and make different choices. (36:39) And a day without making a different choice or decision in some way means you have the same day you had yesterday and that's never gonna move you forward.
Julian Hayes II
(36:49) That's a very good point. (36:50) That's a very good point and it's very practical and it's so easy to overlook. (36:55) And I'm curious, you were talking about throughout the book different things like time reversing and bending time.
(37:01) What do you exactly mean by bending time?
Elizabeth Gould
(37:04) Well, that was the first title for Feeling Forwards and I workshopped it with friends and people I respect and they went, no, it's not gonna work. (37:14) So what you can do, bending time is exactly the example like bringing your five-year plan into the present. (37:23) The example I use in the book was when I went through this completely horrendous time, I'd got over the home invasion.
(37:31) I was recovering from cancer. (37:33) My marriage broke down and I had to tell my small, two small children to take some toys and we needed to get in the car and leave. (37:42) So it wasn't a high point.
(37:44) And I was living with my parents and I was fortunate enough to have invested to have some equity in a business. (37:51) So even though I didn't have a property settlement, I had access to some money, but I was on a very strict budget and my children had started going to school in a very, the older one, a very expensive area. (38:02) And I took them to all these places and for every parent out there, there is no worse terror or fear that you are letting your child down and that you're putting them in something that's not safe.
(38:14) And I had this particular low point where we're in this awful house that I could afford. (38:19) And my four-year-old daughter looked at me and said, oh, and she obviously was reading, she was five by that time. (38:26) She said, oh, I think this is house is lovely, mommy.
(38:29) It's going to be okay. (38:31) And the bottom dropped out of my heart, but I did a major paradigm shift. (38:36) And I said, look, I'm really grateful that you've said that, but actually I don't think this house is beautiful at all and we can do better than this.
(38:43) And I switched my focus without knowing it at the time. (38:47) I turned my eyes on to something different and I looked for a beautiful house in the area. (38:52) I didn't look at the budget at all anymore.
(38:54) I didn't put a filter in on the search. (38:57) And I found this house, it was a two-story period townhouse with oak floors and a chandelier and a marble fireplace. (39:05) And when I was signing the papers, I said to the realtor, I can't believe, I'm very happy, can't believe this is the price.
(39:12) Why is this the price for this house? (39:15) And he said, no one else wanted it but you. (39:19) And that was when I started to formulate FeelingForwards because when you get yourself in that state, when you have absolutely everything in alignment, this isn't like, well, I'll do this bit, but that bit looks a bit, seems a bit hard, so I'll skip that bit.
(39:34) Life doesn't work that way. (39:36) It's like, I heard someone speak once who was doing the, is it the Hawaiian Ironman competition? (39:43) Anyway, it's a grueling physical event and his coach set out these 17 trainings to do a week.
(39:51) And he looked at his coach and went, okay, so which is the most important? (39:57) And his coach said, when it's raining, when it's cold, when you don't wanna get out of bed, that's the most important training. (40:07) That's so true.
Julian Hayes II
(40:09) Absolutely, I love that. (40:12) It's almost like having a test day. (40:16) You've mentioned alignment a few times, we talked about that.
(40:18) And I'm curious, how would you recommend someone go about kind of getting in alignment and getting in this kind of state if they're a bit frazzled with everything going on? (40:32) I know in the States now, we have all these elections going on, there's stuff with the economy and the market and all that. (40:37) So on top of personal life and business, so I can just sense it when I get on different social platforms and even sometimes going out, talking to people, that I can just sense that people are a bit at ease.
(40:53) And so I'm curious, how do you recommend people to start trying to get in alignment a little more?
Elizabeth Gould
(41:02) There's always gonna be uncertainty. (41:04) You're not gonna have any period in your life, there's not gonna be any period in your country or the world or your social demographic or whatever where there's not uncertainty. (41:13) And uncertainty is the biggest fear, the primal fear that holds you back.
(41:18) You're not sure what's gonna happen, so you hunker down, you stay in your safe place. (41:23) But there's always gonna be some form of uncertainty. (41:25) There's never a great time to do something new, there's never a bad time to do something new, you just gotta do something new.
(41:31) And I think it's really refining, once again, it's coming back to what you focus on. (41:37) If you can focus less on the things that are giving you uncertainty, particularly the things that are outside your control. (41:44) I mean, COVID was a very interesting time, particularly I had the dubious honour of being in the city that was locked down the most in the entire world.
(41:55) Yeah, we outstripped Brazil by a couple of days, it was horrendous, but it was a really good, I practised a lot of different ways of getting around uncertainty, but what you focus on becomes bigger, whatever you focus on. (42:10) I've stopped watching the regular news, I subscribe to a couple of newspapers in the States to get a global view, and then I'm very careful about what I put in my head because you can't unlearn and you can't unsee. (42:23) And then if someone says, oh, did you see that horrendous fire where everyone died or whatever, I'll go, oh, share the details, but no, I didn't.
(42:34) So whatever we think, feel and decide is a direct reflection about what we're focusing on. (42:40) And I think that the one thing I was very passionate about in FeelingForwards was debunking the myth that your emotions somehow come out of nowhere and they swirl around you and they can carry you off in the wrong directions. (42:52) It was like thinking is very male and logical and reliable and feeling the very female and unreliable and that awful phrase women love to hear, oh, you're just getting emotional.
(43:05) That always really doesn't move an argument forward.
Julian Hayes II
(43:09) That is true.
Elizabeth Gould
(43:11) Or the equal favorite is calm down.
Julian Hayes II
(43:15) Very true, neither works, neither works. (43:18) I can give a strong testimonial that neither of those work.
Elizabeth Gould
(43:23) Yeah, exactly. (43:25) So it's all a matter of focus and that's a matter of discipline. (43:28) To give you a health example, because you are the health guru, there's always a different flavor for everyone as to how they are able to achieve alignment.
(43:37) And for me with my health, knowing what I should do, I'm very much a measurement girl. (43:43) So I have transformed my health because I've gone on a particular path which involves me measuring my ketones every day. (43:50) So I get a couple of times a day, if I stray off a path, I see an immediate result which is reflected in a measurement.
(43:59) I can't see it right now, certainly would be able to see it in five years time, but I can see it now. (44:04) So for me, I'm a rules girl, as my beautiful American friends describe it, I'm a recovering attorney. (44:11) So I like the rules, I like the measurement and that is the way I keep myself in alignment.
(44:16) But for someone else, it could be completely different. (44:21) It could be experimenting, I can't do a diet or way of eating unless I can experiment with a new food or a new recipe once a week. (44:30) That's the way you go.
(44:31) So it's really diving deep into not your future self is transformed. (44:37) I dislike the phrase future self because there's elements of us that will always be the same. (44:43) I don't like rollercoaster rides.
(44:46) I can be at the level of success or enjoy the lifestyle I'm aiming for in five years time. (44:52) I'm still never gonna get on a rollercoaster and that's okay. (44:56) It's okay to be our intrinsic selves.
(44:58) There is no one size fits all. (45:00) I had a client once who was worried about their morning routine. (45:04) Really not designed to get up at five o'clock and go to weights.
(45:08) The beauty of a morning routine is doing the same thing every morning. (45:11) I said, okay, how about we set your alarm for five o'clock and you get up and you lie in bed and read for 20 minutes? (45:17) Is it kind of like that?
(45:18) Yeah, because you're following through on a promise to yourself. (45:23) You're being consistent. (45:24) You're doing something that's giving you a growth pattern.
(45:27) Knock yourself out. (45:29) Yeah, yeah.
Julian Hayes II
(45:31) And as I'm learning about that, keeping promises to yourself is, if not probably the most important thing. (45:37) Because to me, I feel like it, like there's some kind of energetic thing internally where you're just building your self esteem, your self worth with yourself. (45:44) And the more you take from that deposit by not keeping your promises for a while, you just somehow start losing confidence in yourself and a bunch of different things.
(45:51) And I've experienced that. (45:53) And so it's a slippery slope because it's easy to break those promises to say, I'll get to it tomorrow. (45:58) Or it's just one little call that I didn't do.
(46:00) I'll do it tomorrow. (46:01) And then things happen and you just find yourself declining. (46:05) So I'm gonna shift a little bit to one of your books and it's the Cancer Surviving Cancer.
(46:12) And even if someone's listening, it's not necessarily someone who's dealing with cancer now or anything like that. (46:20) It's more, I'm curious, what were some of the one to two big habits or actions that you noticed across all the survivors that they had in common that helped them manage their emotions during that process? (46:33) And the reason why I ask that is because a lot of times, and I see this in the health world, people really cling on and start to become this thing that they were labeled.
(46:43) And when you cling onto that thing, it's hard to shed. (46:47) And a lot of times it's why you cannot defeat that thing or get over that thing because it has become a part of your identity. (46:53) So I'm curious, what were some of the differences that you all did compared to most people?
Elizabeth Gould
(46:59) Well, you've actually in a very elegant way described the premise of the book because when I was through my cancer treatment and in remission, I realized what I'd done and how I'd thought. (47:13) And there were no books on how a cancer survivor thinks and feels. (47:16) There were diets and single stories.
(47:18) So I took this group of people, all different cancers, ages, genders, backgrounds, and interviewed them all. (47:26) And it was lovely because when I do interview-style books, I ask people to choose a secret name. (47:33) So they remain anonymous and they really, they just open up their hearts and their heads in an extraordinary way.
(47:39) But I found there were five key patterns. (47:41) And this leads so beautifully into feeling forwards because I had come very much from the traditional personal development background, which is positive thinking and logic and structure and all of these things. (47:51) So I went into that with a little bit of a mindset when I started interviewing and researching for the book that it was going to be how they thought.
(48:00) But one of the big five takeaways, because there were five takeaways from that book, which is still available in audio and Kindle, it wasn't how they thought, it was how they felt, how they chose to feel. (48:13) People think that a thought comes before a feeling. (48:15) It actually doesn't.
(48:16) The latest research is a thought, a feeling, and a choice occur simultaneously. (48:20) Absolutely simultaneously in your mind and your body. (48:25) So of course, whatever you're focusing on at the time is going to generate what thought, feeling, action you take.
(48:32) But what these people did, it was very much an early version of my work now. (48:37) They chose their emotions. (48:40) They were totally ruthless in the people they surrounded themselves with.
(48:45) And in the book, I talked about the categorization. (48:49) People weren't, there were no shades of gray. (48:51) There was heaters and drainers.
(48:54) And the drainers, we've always been with someone that we walk away from a conversation and we feel slightly just deflated.
Julian Hayes II
(49:01) Absolutely.
Elizabeth Gould
(49:02) The heaters is someone that you have a conversation, you feel like you've had a vitamin injection, it's the best. (49:08) So the drainers, even if they were members of their family, even quite members of their close family, they just cut them off. (49:15) Because there's nothing like cancer to really crystallize your mind on what's important.
(49:21) They also were very, very careful with what they chose to read and what they chose to watch. (49:27) They were very mindful of self-care and exercise as it needed to be for them, not necessarily anyone else. (49:37) And they really let go unconsciously.
(49:39) And then we explored it in the interviews. (49:41) They really let go of the small stuff. (49:43) When you think you're going to die, I can tell you, because it's happened a couple of times, you don't think of, you think of yourself first.
(49:54) You think of your children, if you have them, that's it. (49:57) You don't think about who you might've offended or who you should have caught up with, all the things you should have done. (50:02) You do not think of that.
(50:03) You do not think of your to-do list. (50:05) So they very much physically created a future that embodied all of those things. (50:11) And some of the recoveries were quite miraculous.
Julian Hayes II
(50:16) And that's how they did it. (50:18) That's a very, very powerful reminder. (50:21) And the thing is, I read a great book, I think it's called The Molecules of Emotion, I believe, by Candice Wirth, and I forgot her last name, but it was basically about psychosomatic and then also how our emotions can also affect our immune system.
(50:37) And so that's a very important point that you mentioned right there, when you're thinking about auditing your environment in that state and really focusing on that immune system. (50:46) So that's a great point that you brought up. (50:49) Now, I'm also curious, what led you to write the book, Happy Children?
Elizabeth Gould
(50:53) Well, it was initially because my own children were so traumatized because when I'd been beaten up by the psychopath who wanted to kill them, they stood there and watched and they had total recall. (51:06) In fact, I had a fairly awful period where the teachers would ring me and Claire, my oldest, would refer to the incident in show and tell. (51:14) So it was awful because someone would talk about their new puppy or they went somewhere on the weekend and Claire would say, oh, this happened.
(51:22) And we managed our way through that. (51:23) But of course, I was really worried about their mental health ongoing because I didn't want this one event to instill in them the belief that the world isn't a wonderful place because it is. (51:36) So I went to the bookstore and there was nothing.
(51:39) And it occurred to me, I had this lightning bolt moment where I thought, oh my goodness, all these parenting books are written by psychologists. (51:47) Who do psychologists see? (51:48) They see children who aren't coping.
(51:51) So how can we learn about the children who are coping? (51:54) How can we learn about the children who are going through these life experiences, which can be very mixed? (52:01) How do they think and feel?
(52:02) So it was really built on the back of cancer survivors. (52:04) So I went to a group of friends who were teachers and I said, is it possible to identify a child who is happy? (52:11) Do you have children who are happy and settled and secure in your class?
(52:15) Is there that much of a difference? (52:16) And I said, oh my goodness, happy children stick out like a sore thumb. (52:21) Children who are coping, not necessarily children who aren't having problems.
(52:24) So once again, I interviewed a range of children and I had these wonderful parents who let me take these children away to a cafe and give them a milkshake or whatever and say, okay, pick your secret name. (52:34) Now what's really going on inside your head? (52:37) All of the kids have been bullied.
(52:39) All eight kids have been bullied. (52:42) There was not a perfect childhood among them. (52:45) They were adopted.
(52:46) They were middle, single, oldest. (52:49) They were only kids, wealthy parents, single moms, all of it. (52:53) And once again, they had these same patterns that weren't all that similar from the cancer survivors.
(52:59) But what I loved, and one of the youngest was nine, I said, so how do you know that you're happy? (53:06) How do you know for sure? (53:07) And she looked at me like I was an idiot.
(53:09) And she said, well, I've chosen to be happy. (53:13) I thought, oh my goodness, how can we get this into the world of adults that your planet, the planets don't have to align. (53:22) You don't have to have a world free from uncertainty or a day where you have to do stuff that you don't want to do.
(53:28) You can just choose. (53:29) It is actually that simple.
Julian Hayes II
(53:32) Wow, that's really good. (53:34) That's really good. (53:36) That's a very good lesson right there.
(53:38) I'm curious, what does success mean to you?
Elizabeth Gould
(53:43) Look, there's so many things. (53:46) Success is how I'm feeling about what I'm doing. (53:50) I also enjoy financial reward.
(53:52) I enjoy supporting charities and I also enjoy mentoring young entrepreneurs along the way because I had no family connections and there were a lot of people that stretched out their hand to me along the way and still do. (54:08) And it's my privilege to lean back and stretch a hand to others. (54:12) So how I'm feeling is success to me, not necessarily what I'm doing.
Julian Hayes II
(54:19) I like that. (54:20) And okay, so now we're getting ready to go to the last question here. (54:23) And this one here is, if someone comes up to you at a cafe and they ask you, what are one to three things that I can start to do now to become the person who truly has the life that they want?
(54:38) What would you tell them to start doing today?
Elizabeth Gould
(54:41) Define what the life is that you really want without limitations, without worry, without concern. (54:47) What is it? (54:48) What is it that is gonna make your cup full?
(54:51) How much of that are you already doing? (54:53) Because there's always a percentage we're already doing. (54:55) We may not be doing it to the degree that we could, but there's always an element of that.
(55:00) And then design your future and start living it right now.
Julian Hayes II
(55:04) I like that. (55:05) I like that. (55:06) All encompassing, concise.
(55:08) This has been a fascinating conversation. (55:10) Really been a fascinating conversation. (55:12) I can't wait to continue to go through the book and do those, especially those 17 aspects, because there's some gaps in my future as you were talking right there that I didn't have.
(55:22) And even those questions that you asked, I didn't have exactly. (55:26) And so that makes me excited. (55:27) I might sneak in and do it tonight, if I'm being honest.
(55:30) But where can listeners and everyone keep up with you at?
Elizabeth Gould
(55:34) Well, thank you, Julian. (55:35) Firstly, they're really, really good questions. (55:37) I love when I get such an insightful interviewer like me so I can share things I haven't shared before because no one's ever asked me, so this was a real treat.
(55:45) So I'm most active on LinkedIn and Instagram, Elizabeth Gould underscore. (55:50) I have a website, elizabethgould.com. (55:54) I'm also, they're really the main platforms I have my podcast as you kindly mentioned, Exhaustive Empowered Entrepreneur.
Julian Hayes II
(56:01) Awesome to hear, awesome to hear. (56:03) And listeners, I will have all of this in the show notes. (56:06) And until next time, stay awesome, be limitless, and as always, go be the CEO of your health and your life.
(56:12) Peace.
